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Stepping farther into the room, I set my now-empty mug on the dresser and climb across the mattress. “My mind was running too fast for me to rest,” I tell him as I prop against the headboard.
Tanner looks at me curiously. “Is everything okay, Daddy?”
“Everything is fine.” I reach for Tanner, pulling him into my arms. He comes easily, accepting my morning kiss with pursed lips. “I enjoy the quiet mornings. It gives me time to think. I did some of that before you returned to the land of the living, and we need to talk.”
“Oh no,” he groans. “The dreaded four words of doom. Really, Dean? This early in the morning?”
“That’s a tad dramatic. It’s nearly nine.” I pointedly look at the alarm clock behind him.
“Says the man who already had coffee,” he mutters.
“And what happened to Daddy?”
Pulling away from me, Tanner crosses his arms over his chest and raises a single brow at me—a move I thought was only used by Daddies. “You started the morning off by saying ‘we need to talk’ after we had sex for the first time. My guess is, this is your gentle way of saying, ‘thanks for the lay, but it’s time for you to leave.’”
Good job, Dean. Way to start strong.
“That’s not what I was going to say at all.” I tug on his arm, forcing him to release the defensive pose so I can hold his hand in mine. “I was thinking about the part-time aspect of our relationship.”
“Oh,” he says, pulling his hand free. “So this is an ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ breakup chat instead?”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond, to attempt to fix his broken perception of what I’m trying to tell him. Tanner slides off the bed, his stuffies falling to the floor as he stomps toward his overnight bag, grabs a pair of joggers, and starts pulling them on.
I’m so stunned by his actions that it takes me a full minute to figure out he’s about to run out the door before I can tell him I’m falling for him. He’s muttering under his breath, angry and annoyed words I know he’s using to protect himself when he doesn’t need to.
Daddy will always protect his boy, heart included.
“Tanner, if you’d stop for two seconds and listen…”
“Listen to what, Dean?” He throws his hands up in exasperation. “I’m not interested in listening to excuses. Just be honest like you promised you would and end it. Clean-cut, rip off the Band-Aid. Pick whichever cliché you want to use.”
“Enough!” I shout, affecting every ounce of my baritone to cut him off. “Tanner, I’m trying to tell you that I love you, you stubborn boy. I’m trying to tell you I don’t want to be your part-time Daddy anymore because I want you. Full stop.”
Tanner’s mouth falls open, his eyes widening as I practically scream what’s been building inside me for weeks. “I don’t care if we haven’t known each other for long or you’re still not convinced this can work in the long run. I need you to hear the words and know my heart belongs to you. I want you in all the ways I can have you, Tanner. You’re it for me.”
“Oh,” he breathes, hands falling to his sides, the process of putting on a shirt forgotten.
“I wastryingto be delicate, not wishing to push you into something you weren’t ready for. It’s okay if you’re not there yet, because you, Tanner, will always be worth waiting for.” I’m nearly panting by the time I finish, my throat raw with emotion.
There’s a singular pause between us, a suspended note of silence as Tanner processes everything I’ve said. Despite telling myself otherwise, my breath catches in my chest and holds, my lungs burning as I wait for him to say something.
Tanner balls the shirt in his hand. “Do you really mean it?”
“With every beat of my heart. I know you think you don’t have time for a relationship or a Daddy, but I think we’ve proven otherwise. There’s space for me in your life if you’ll have me.”
A single tear tracks down his cheek, but he doesn’t look away from me. I give him this moment, allowing him to see into my soul. Another bated breath, and the shirt falls to the floor. Tanner sprints to me, his body slamming into mine.
“I was afraid,” he says through a sob. “Terrified I couldn’t have what I so desperately wanted.”
Relieved, I squeeze him against my chest. “You have me, Tanner. Whenever you’re ready. I need you to know how I feel. I promised to be honest with you, but there’s no pressure.”
I mean it. Whether or not Tanner is at a point where he feels the same or is ready to confess he does, I’ll wait for him. He’s given me the chance to be his Daddy, and I’ll do whatever it takes to be that for him until the end of time.
“I’m ready now.” Leaning back, Tanner peers up, his blue eyes shining with more unshed tears.
“Tanner—” I try to warn him off speaking before he’s certain, but he powers through.
“I love you too, Dean. Daddy.” Tanner smiles, his face brightening. “I’ve been falling for you every minute since our first date. That night, when you took control and took care of me instead of assuming my exhaustion was a disinterest in you. I knew then I could fall in love with you if I let the door open.”
