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“News flash, buddy, you can. Consenting adult over here.”
I smirk. I can’t help it. If only it were that easy. “Kenzi.”
“Don’tKenzime, I need sex, Mylo. I neeeeeeeed sex. There are only so many times a girl can DIY it fantasizing about what could have happened next… seriouuuuuuusly… it’s getting ooooold. I need real life. I need toknowwhat comes next.” She pauses. Sucks in a breath. “Unless… holy shit, unless…”
“Unless what?” I drag myself up, back against the headboard, elbow on my bent knee. DIY’ing it. I pinch the bridge of my nose and try valiantly to rid the images my mind is conjuring. Try even harder to stop my dick from reacting. “Kenzi? Unless what?”
“Unless.” Her sheets rustle again, and it doesn’t take a huge amount of effort to picture her wrapped in them, her hair a mess. Her cheeks flushed. Her bottom lip between her teeth as she thinks. “Are you still a virgin, Mylo? Because that would make a whole lot of sense. If you are, that’s something I can totally help you with.”
“What?” Barked laughter rips from my chest. “No, I’m not a virgin.”
“Does it wor—?”
“Yes, it works.” I cut in, the burn of mortification I felt in the doctor’s office yesterday rearing its fucked-up head again. “Works just fine.”
“Then the problemisme,” she mutters matter-of-factly. “I’ll have you know I’m—”
“The problem is not you.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me and rest my head back against the carved wood headboard. It’s all me. “It’s not you at all.”
“Do you ever think about it?”
I can hear the smile in her voice and against my better judgement, it pulls one to my face too. “You know I think about it.” All the damn time.
She makes a pleased little noise somewhere between a hum and a chirp. And it releases something in my chest. Eases something I wasn’t even fully aware needed easing.
“What do you think about when you think about it? Do youuuuuuu touch youuuuuur…?
My laugh is rough, maybe it’s because I can’t see her, maybe it’s because I’m in a foreign room in a foreign bed, maybe it’s because there’s a chance she won’t remember a thing about this in the morning, but I don’t want to avoid this. Don’t want to pretend. My heart thumps hard in my chest, anticipation tightening the nerves from the base of my skull down to the bottom of my spine. “Yes.”
“Huh.” More sheet rustling. More listening to her move around her bed.
I close my eyes and blow out a silent breath. I’ve read this wrong.
“Is it bad if I find that really fucking hot?” she whispers.
Or not. Eyes closed, I drag my hand down my face, then scratch my jaw through my beard, every muscle in my body strung tight. This could ruin everything. Or this could change everything. “Not bad at all.”
Neither of us say anything. Seconds tick by. Tense. Hot. And so loaded I can almost taste it.
“Tell me what you think about?” she whispers. In my head, she’s smirking, brows raised in challenge.
“You.” My jaw clenches and I squeeze my eyes shut, my free hand balled in a fist, elbow still resting on my knee, still barely sure this isn’t just a figment of my frustrations. “Naked.”
Her breathy laugh is pure relief. “Doooooiiiiiing?”
“Kenzi, are you sure you want to get into—”
“Mylooooo. Just tell me what I’m doing?”
I click my tongue off my teeth, my jugular jumping with my pulse, the line I’ve drawn between us fading with every word that’s forming on my tongue. If I tell her. If we do this. My fist clenches. Unclenches. There are a million reasons not to do this, but just one to. I want it. Want her. Even if it’s just for this phone call. “Sometimes you’re touching yourself.”
Her breath releases. “And you are?”
“Between your legs… with you straddling my lap.” I swallow thickly. Waiting for her to stop this—for me to stop this. Waiting for my alarm to go off and wake me the fuck up.
“Nice.” There’s a catch in her breath, and my imagination runs with it, conjuring images of her spreading her long, toned legs and sliding her hand down over her abs. “Does that make you hard? Thinking about me like that?”
The awkwardness I half expect to engulf this whole twilight zone I’ve woken to fades with her soft moan, and I glance down my naked body, knees bent, dick jutting up like a fucking totem pole. “Yes.”
