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Kat blinks and moves her gaze around the room as the rest of her body slowly starts to wake. She’s weak, cold, and terrified. I can see that in her eyes. But I want her to know that I’m here.
“Here’s your water.” The nurse returns. “We’re going to sit you up. Sip it very slowly, okay?”
Kat blinks in response, and they adjust her bed, instructing her on what they want her to do as they help her with the water. She’s so small and fragile; it wrecks my heart to see her this way. Almost childlike in her demeanor and her expressions. This isn’t the Kat I’m used to, and I’m still terrified the worst is yet to come.
Maybe she won’t remember me. Maybe she won’t even be able to speak. Maybe she won’t be Kat at all. The doctors tried to prepare me for every scenario, and they said the only way to tell is time. But I’m anxious about the exam. I want to see for myself. Regardless, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care if she doesn’t remember me, or if she doesn’t know how to speak. We’ll find a way to get through it just like we did with everything else.
“Welcome back, Katerina.” The doctor enters with a clipboard in hand, her eyes bright and positive as she looks over Kat. “I’m Dr. Sampson, and I’ll be doing your examination today.”
Kat nods. It’s stiff, but it’s there. The smallest of movements, but it gives me hope. So much fucking hope. If she’s nodding, that means she comprehends, right? I look at the doctor, but she has a good poker face. She doesn’t even blink as she wheels her chair over next to Kat’s bed.
“Just give me a second to look over your vitals,” she murmurs and then hands the clipboard off to one of the nurses. “Okay, here we go. We’re going to run through a series of tests, Katerina. Right now, it might be difficult for you to speak, so I don’t want you to worry about that. If you understand, I want you to blink twice for yes. Can you do that?”
Tension creeps into my bones as I swing my gaze back to Kat, watching like a hawk as she blinks once, and then again. It feels like we just won the fucking Olympics. Internally, I’m freaking the fuck out, but the doctor is playing it cool, and I know that means there is still a lot more to figure out.
Over the next half hour, she does a series of tests with Kat. Checking her vision, her hearing, her comprehension. One test bleeds into another, and with every victory, my racing heart slows. My baby is here. She’s alive. And she’s kicking ass just like she’s always done.
“That’s enough for today.” The doctor moves to the sink and washes her hands. “I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you again, and we’ll keep at it. But you’ve done very well, Katerina. I just want you to rest now, okay?”
Kat blinks twice, and I squeeze her hand. Within a few minutes, the room clears out, and it’s just Gleb and me left beside her. She looks at both of us, then back at me, her face pinching with frustration. She wants to say something, but she can’t.
“Josh is okay,” I tell her. “He’s with Maxim at Gleb’s house being spoiled rotten. Don’t worry, sweetheart. He’s just fine.”
She blinks twice and then points at her water. I hold it up for her, letting her take a couple of sips before I set it aside. Then she brings a shaky hand to her throat, clutching at it as she opens her parched lips again. Another scratchy sound forces its way out of her lips, and I shake my head.
“Your throat is tender. The doctor said—”
“Baby.”
This time, I hear the word clearly even though it’s barely a whisper. My heart stalls, and Gleb lays a hand on my shoulder. Neither of us knows how to navigate this situation. And I can’t bear to break Kat’s heart. Not after everything she’s been through.
“You need to rest, sweetheart.” I lean forward and kiss her on the temple. “In a couple of days, Josh might be able to come see you. But rest first.”
Her face falls, and she blinks twice. I stroke her hand in mine, and within minutes, she is back to sleep again.
* * *
The next three days are a series of milestones. Kat moving her hand. Kat sitting up. Kat taking her first steps with the help of two nurses, and me and Gleb as backup, just in case. It’s slow and painful to watch her struggle with the simplest of things, but she tackles them as only Kat can, with a steel backbone and determination in her eyes.
I know the biggest of her motivations is seeing Josh again. But she doesn’t want him to see her so weak. Words spoken from her own lips, which she’s still struggling with. She can carry on a conversation, but only for so long before she needs to take a break again. Dr. Sampson explained that it’s totally normal for anyone who’s been through so much trauma to feel so weak, but she’s confident that Kat is likely going to make a full recovery, and it’s the first peace I’ve had in a full month. It won’t be easy. There will be physical therapy to ensure Kat regains her strength and her balance, and the potential for side effects that still haven’t made an appearance yet. Dr. Sampson said headaches and mood changes are just a couple of the things we need to watch out for. But right now, when I look at Kat, she’s still Kat to me. Her eyes are shining with vulnerability, and pain, but also love. Love for me.
