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“The truth usually isn’t.”
He blinks at me. His eyes drag from my face to his clenched fists, where he opens and closes them repeatedly.
He sighs after what feels like a minute of silence. “My first real taste of the scum of the Earth started in college when a random girl invited me back to her dorm after a party.”
My appetite shifts to nausea at the mention of him being with someone else.
“Before, I had only dealt with the typical stupid teen stuff—like people using me for a private jet or a trip to Cabo.”
“Oh yeah, thetypicalstuff.”
He cracks the saddest smile before it falls flat. “Well, where I came from, people have used me throughout my life, but it had never taken a turn toward anything illegal until I became an adult. College was eye-opening. I lost my virginity while unknowingly being filmed with a hidden camera. It cost my father a lot of money to sweep that issue under the rug before she went to the media with the tape.”
The food I ate doesn’t sit well with his admission. “Are you serious? That’s disgusting! Why would you pay her off? She’s the one in the wrong.”
“Because I wasn’t going to risk it. A tape like that could be devastating if it got out, so we paid her to stay quiet and turn it over.”
I can’t do anything but stare at him.
He lets out a bitter laugh. I’ve never heard it before, and I hope I don’t listen to it again because it makes my entire body chilled to the bone. “That was only my first experience. College was full of shit but even that was tame compared to adulthood.”
“Oh God. There are things worse than blackmail?” Seriously, I thought money meant security, but realistically, it only further complicates life.
He nods. “I’ve dealt with it all. Women stabbing sealed condoms with safety pins when they thought I wasn’t looking. Someone trying to drug my drink at a bar. There was this one ti—”
I wave my hand. “How could you talk about this like it doesn’t bother you?”
He frowns. “Because I got to a point where I learned to expect it from other people. You can’t be bothered by something you already anticipate happening.”
“I thought these kinds of things only happened in movies.” I don’t know what makes me more ill—the idea of Rowan with another woman or a woman trying to purposefully trap him with a baby.
“I’m only scraping the surface. Each situation was a learning lesson for me—a way to prove that my brothers were right about how shitty people are.”
My lips part. “How did you survive growing up in a place like that?”
“Because you either bend to the will of monsters or you easily become the prey.”
I blink twice, waiting for the end of the joke, yet Rowan’s jaw remains clamped shut.
“Is that why you lied? Because you’re so used to people doing the same thing to you?”
There it is. The truth laid out right in front of us, waiting for his confirmation.
“I did it because I thought I was justified. I had no reason to trust you at all, and I never imagined I would feel all this.”
“Feel what?”
He lifts his glasses and rubs his eyes. “I’m bound to fuck all this up.”
I release a shaky breath. “Okay, well, try your best not to.”
He pushes his plate away from him. “My initial reason for speaking to you was selfish and cruel. I was interested in uncovering the kind of person you were. I honestly thought you were a fraud, and I wanted to prove myself right.”
His wordshurt. I thought his intentions might have been misplaced but sweet, but this alternative is the worst-case scenario.
“I feel sorry for someone like you who grew up surrounded by so many vicious people. I really do.”
His upper lip curls. “There’s a reason we live by the mottomoney over morals.”
