AllFreeNovel
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“There are two ways to be rich in life, and one of them has nothing to do with a bank account.”
“I see that now. I see that inyou.”
My heartbeat picks up, pounding harder against my sternum as if it wants to tell Rowan it’s listening too.
His eyes remain locked on mine. “I thought you would extort me for money after that kiss. Part of me anticipated it, if only to prove you were just as selfish as the rest of us. Because how could you not want to milk me for money if I harassed you like I did. There were times I even wondered if you would attempt something else to only exacerbate the issue.”
“That’s sad, Rowan. I told you I wouldn’t do that.”
“I don’t have a good track history with trust.”
“Yeah, I see.” And it makes me so damn sad.
I walked in here expecting to not fall for anything Rowan said because in my head, I thought nothing would be good enough. But this reality…it’s tragic. The kind of life he has lived up until this point is anxiety-provoking. I’d rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable any day of the year.
“You proved me wrong every time you spoke to me. You didn’t even know who I was and you were willing to make me feel like I mattered to someone.”
My whole resolve crumbles in front of me like a house of cards.
“I was proud to make your drawings. It made me feel happy to make you happy.” His voice cracks and I feel the sound straight through my heart.
His eyes find mine. “As I spent time getting to know you, I confirmed my deepest suspicion in a completely different way. You are so much morethan you let on—but in a way that makes you priceless.”
Priceless? Don’t you dare cry, Zahra.
“You’re selfless, caring, and willing to go above and beyond to help those around you. You tutor kids for free, and you bring a grumpy old man bread and cookies. And the selfish part of me wanted to steal a piece of you for myself. You reminded me of what it was like to not feel so damn lonely all the time, and I didn’t want to lose that.”
How in the world can I respond to that?I don’t have a chance because Rowan keeps talking.
“I took your kindness for granted, and I abused your trust. So for that, I’m sorry.”
I blink away my tears. “What made you want to confess?”
“I couldn’t keep pretending after our day at Dreamland. I became addicted to the way you made me feel, to the point that I couldn’t find a way to tell you who I really was. I was afraid and I didn’t want it to end. So, instead of giving myself up, I found ways to spend time with you as Rowan while purposefully stealing the rest of your attention as Scott. It was a stupid idea. It was unfair of me, but I don’t regret a single thing except hurting you.”
Wetness emerges, making my tear ducts full. I’ve never heard Rowan talk this much, and I realize it’s such a shame. The way he speaks…it’s beautiful. He makes me feel beautiful. Not the superficial kind either, but in a way that makes me proud of who I am. In a way that makes me think he cares about my soul first and foremost.
He might have lied, but his intentions behind continuing the fantasy are so damn sad that I want to cry for him. What kind of person is so lonely, they would willingly text someone with a pseudonym?
The one desperate to be loved back.
My throat tightens. “What about the buddies program?”
He groans. “God. I’m going to sound crazy.”
The corners of my lips tug up. “Maybe I like your kind of crazy.”
And I truly mean it. Anything is better than the icy exterior Rowan portrays to the world.
“I’m the one who stole all the papers except for one because I didn’t want anyone to have your number.”
My jaw drops open. “You what?” Holy shit. How far does all this go?
He removes his glasses and drags a hand down his face. “When you caught me, I was angry at myself for feeling so stupid, and I took it out on you. But then once I showed up at the meeting, I realized what you were trying to do for people like your sister. I attended the first one for purely selfish reasons, but I stayed because I like Ani. She makes me laugh and she’s sweet, just like you.”
My lashes become damp from the unshed tears. No normal man would steal all the papers with my number unless he cared. And the way he talks about Ani… It’s so simple, yet it means the world to me. It’s everything I wanted with Lance but was denied.
My pounding heart feels like it might escape through my throat.
