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The thought had crossed my mind, but I don’t see how they could. They claimed to have information, it’s part of why I agreed to help them, but how and what? I need to speak to Mitch about any new leads. I know the body they found recently wasn’t Star’s, and over the years, there have been a dozen or so possible sightings, which have all amounted to nothing. The night my mum was murdered, Star vanished. It’s one of the reasons I was so keen to join CID, especially interested in any human trafficking cases, but there’s never been even the smallest hint that’s where she ended up.
“I don’t think so. I think this is about something else. I just haven’t figured out what yet.” My mind wanders until Jess’ voice draws my attention back to her.
“Roxy, you there?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve got another call, and I need to take it. Can I give you a call back later?”
We say our goodbyes with me promising to call her and after receiving a short lecture on how things happen for a reason.
Even though it’s late, I send a message to Mitch asking him to get me another copy of the file on my mum’s murder case along with everything he has that we’ve collected over the years on Star. Thanks to my house burning down, I’ve lost everything. Years of notes and details, and some of which I’ll never get back.
After that, I shoot a quick message to Noah, who is undoubtedly still not talking to me after the last time we spoke, but he needs a head’s up on Kavanagh. The guy is bad news. And I’d also be interested in what he can dig up on him.
Jess mentioning my mum and sister has a new sadness wind its way into my tormented mind. Why the hell not? Seems like it’s throw all the shit at Roxy just lately. Pride comes before a fall pops into my mind, and I don’t particularly like the connotations of that little proverb, especially in the biblical sense. Tempted by the devil, or devils in this case, is right on the fucking money though.
I allow myself some time for a pity party for one and to wallow while I try to fall asleep, but it’s impossible. My mind won’t shut down and allow me some peace. I check my phone to see it’s almost 2am, and I’ve not heard anyone moving around in the house for the last couple of hours.
Getting up, I pull my robe on and quietly open the bedroom door and tiptoe down the stairs. It’s dark, but in the kitchen the blinds are open, and the moonlight lights the room enough for me to find the kettle.
I’ve barely been in here since I arrived and haven’t eaten much in the last couple of days either. My stomach growls in response to my thoughts of food.
I make tea and rummage around in the fridge for something to appease my hunger for now. For two guys, their fridge is surprisingly well stocked, but nothing jumps out at me. I decide to try the cupboards instead and quickly find the cereal cupboard. Who doesn’t love cereal as a midnight snack, right?
I’m just putting the first mouthful to my lips when the I hear the front door opening and closing softly behind whoever it is.
From my position perched on the counter with my legs crossed, I can’t see into the main hall, but the soft fall of footsteps gets louder as they head this way.
“Shit,” I whisper, knowing I don’t have time to escape before they reach here. With no other choice, I eat my cereal. The under-cupboard LED lighting flicks on, casting a warm glow around the kitchen, but for me it feels like a damn spotlight.
I watch as Zak wanders into the room, still wearing the same clothes from earlier this evening, although a little more dishevelled now. He looks tired, and his browny-blond hair is messy like he’s been running his hand through it, and as if to prove my point, he reaches up and does just that at the same time he turns my way. His hand pauses a fraction of a second halfway through his hair as he spots me, then he continues ruffling his hair further and walking towards the fridge.
He takes out a bottle of beer, opening it and downing half before taking a breath and leaning his shoulder against the fridge.
I feel him watching me, almost scorching my flesh with the intensity. I finish my cereal and place the bowl down on the counter, and when I turn back to look at him, he’s now standing right next to me. His hand stretches the small distance, fingertips pushing my chin away from him and tilting my head to the light. I know exactly what he’s looking at, and a sliver of shame works its way back into my mind. I push it away, which allows for my snarky, bitchier side to rise to the occasion.
“So, I guess you lost the bet then?” I say, pulling my face from his touch.
“Is that really what you think?” he asks with a contemptuous laugh and steps to stand in front of me. His close proximity makes me edgy, and I can’t help the small flinch as he takes my chin again, cupping it and forcing me to look at him. “There was no bet, Rox. There’s no competition between Mad and I when it comes to you. And in case you missed it back then, which I know you didn’t, you’ve only ever been ours. You might not believe it or feel it fully right now, but here with us is exactly where you were always meant to be.” He leans down, gripping my chin harder, and lays a delicate kiss on my lips.
His lips are soft as they meet mine, and I can taste the beer he just drank, dark and delicious and tempting in all the wrong ways. I know it’s wrong. I just spent the last few hours berating myself and full of shame at my inability to keep these two out of my mind and body, but it seems to all vanish the instant one of them touches me, gets too close, or hell, even talks to me.
Zak deepens the kiss, brushing his tongue across the seam of my bottom lip, and I open, permitting him entry and parting as easily as a whore’s legs.
The thought is like a cold bucket of ice as Kavanagh’s words come back to me, and I pull back quickly, banging my head on the cupboard behind me.
“Ow, fuck!” I rub at the sore spot, inching as far back from Zak as possible. Maybe a bang to the head is what I need to knock some fucking sense back into me. Hell knows I need it.
“Jeez, Rox, you okay?” He raises his hands, reaching to pull my head and get a better look, but I dodge them and push him away as I drop down to the floor.
“I’m fine, just leave it, Zak. I’m going to head back to bed. Night,” I tell him, hurrying from the kitchen.
“Sweet dreams, Rox,” he calls after me, followed by a dark chuckle that follows me all the way to my room, and it’s only when I’ve closed the door that it drifts away.
I flop down onto the bed face first, thumping my fist into the mattress a dozen or more times out of frustration at…well, everything.
I roll over and make a new plan, and top of the list is to move out of this house. There’s no way I can stay here in a house full of temptation; a temptation that slides through my hate and anger like a damn knife through butter.
I need to show my face at the station tomorrow, despite knowing how that’s going to play out. Even when I’m cleared and the corruption charges are dropped, my reputation will be dog shit. More so when my connection to Maddox and Zak emerges, which it will and soon after last night.
