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I slump to the floor in front of the mirror and sit for so long that my arse is numb by the time I tune back in and become aware that I desperately need to pee.
Dragging myself from the floor, I meander to the toilet. I’m washing my hands when my stomach growls out a protest at not having anything but a liquid diet today.
On my way out, I grab the bottle of vodka from the bedside table, carrying it loosely in my fingers as I weave my way down the stairs.
I had planned to satisfy my hangry, growling stomach, but voices in the lounge have me turning that way.
Emboldened with vodka and the reincarnated Roxy from ten years ago, I stomp into the lounge.
Maddox spots me first, causing Zak to stop mid-sentence and swivel around in his seat to see what caught his attention.
“Rox, are you okay?” Zak asks, but it’s all just a whoosh inside my ears as my stomach rolls over on itself.
“I-I’m—” My words are halted as vomit fills my mouth. I don’t see Maddox move, but as my stomach attempts to reject the foul vodka laced sick in my mouth again, a small plastic bin is placed in front of me. I don’t—or can’t—hold it in any longer and grasp the bin, raising it to my mouth.
After I’m spent, Maddox takes the bin from me, and Zak steers me to the sofa where I collapse down on to it in a heap and close my eyes as I rest my head back.
“Did we miss the memo about a Roxy nineties revival?” Zak jokes, the sofa sinking as he sits beside me.
“Very fucking funny, Zak.” A tap to the side of my leg has me cracking an eye open to see Maddox standing over me with a glass of water.
“Drink,” he growls, pushing the glass closer to me.
Taking the glass, I raise my head and take a couple of small sips before resting it on my lap.
“Maria is making you some food, and once you’ve eaten something and sobered up, we’re going to talk.”
“Wow, if I’d known all I had to do to get you to talk and be honest was take a step back in time, get pissed like we used to at the underpass and then throw up, I wouldn’t have waited so long, Maddox,” I snipe back. He can’t see it, but my eyes roll behind my lids, and it’s not from the vodka.
I must have passed out because when I wake the room is dark, except a small sliver of light from the outside lights, which glints off the fireplace. I shift a little, testing the vulnerable state of my stomach. When it appears safe to move, I sit up and realise someone placed a blanket over me as it slips down my body.
“Hello, Sleeping Beauty. Welcome back to the land of the living,” drawls a gruff voice from behind me and to the right.
“I must be in the wrong fucking fairy tale. Shouldn’t you be riding a white horse and waking me with a kiss?”
“I see your little alcohol induced nap hasn’t improved your mood at all. Want to explain how we went from screwing to this?”
“I guess the same way we went from being friends to abandoning me, huh.”
“That’s not fair, Roxanne.”
“Not fucking fair? Are you out of your damn mind?Fair, he says.” I tut under my breath because I’m honestly speechless.
“You don’t know—”
“Don’t know what, Maddox? Why I’m back here. Why you left me in the first place. Why the fuck can’t I stop letting you and Zak climb inside my body at the drop of a fucking hat when you can’t even be honest with me.” My voice waivers a little on the last part as emotion takes over. Finding my voice again, I say, “Do you even know? Because I’m starting to think maybe, just maybe, you got a little bored with your life of crime and thought, I know let’s screw Roxy over again ‘cause it was sooooo much fucking fun the first time round.” I get to my feet, suddenly needing out of this room.
“Where are you going?” he demands.
“Well, unless you have that bin handy again and wish to watch me squatting over it while I take a piss, then I’m going to the toilet.” I try not to read too much into the fact he ignored my question as I shuffle from the room.
Once relieved, I go to the kitchen to get a much-needed drink. My mouth is as dry as sandpaper. I fill my glass and think about all the things Maddox and Zak are keeping from me while I drink it down.
I don’t understand any of this. I thought chatting to JJ would help me sort it out in my head, but if anything, it’s just confused me more. It’s probably a good job I’m not a cop anymore. What good am I when I can’t even solve my own fucking mystery.
I remember saying that to Mitch after I joined the force and was getting nowhere with solving my sister’s disappearance. His words echo in my mind.‘It’s not so easy when you’re close to it, Rox. You need to step outside the emotion and connection of the case, otherwise it clouds your judgment.’
The sound of vibrating has me spinning around for the source. The light from a phone on the breakfast bar draws me over. There’s no caller ID but the number seems familiar. Snatching it from the top, I swipe to answer and lift it to my ear. Not a word has passed my lips as a male voice hollers down the line.
