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Eleven
Dad stayedin the city for the next two days, so I didn’t get the chance to talk to him. It was a conversation that should happen in person. By Thursday, guilt settled in the pit of my stomach for being relieved I hadn’t had to face him. I didn’t want to know the truth since it was a double-edged sword. If Dad didn’t know, it meant Juliet was keeping something big from him—well, us—and if he did know, then why was it such a mystery? Why was she so hard to find?
No matter how I twisted and turned the facts I knew, it never came out to a happy ending. Everything felt shrouded with secrets, and that was never a good sign.
“Is it just me or did the teachers have a meeting and decide to go full force this week?” Sky dropped his textbooks on the lunch table with a thud. He sunk onto a bench with a frown.
“I have at least two hours of homework tonight,” Luca groaned.
“I think they just realized midterms are coming up, and they haven’t taught us anything new since the break.” Gavin agreed. “You guys are welcome to come over after school if you want.”
I shared a look with Luca then Sky. I had two classes with each of them, so it would make sense for us to work together.
“I’m down,” Sky confirmed.
“Me too.” Luca nodded. “No training or anything though. You both need to keep up with things in case you get pulled for the mission.”
I agreed.
“I’ll come too. I’m sure I’ll need help with algebra,” Noah said.
Vince raised a shoulder. “I guess I’ll come too.”
“It’s been a while since all of us had a study night.” I grinned.
“Because we haven’t needed to,” Sky whined.
Gavin chuckled. “I’ll ask Miranda to make some pizzas if that helps.”
The four of them perked up at the same moment, earning a laugh from me and Gavin. They were so easy to please and adorably predictable.
I pulled out my peanut butter and banana sandwich as Noah changed the subject to the hockey playoffs. They started debating Chicago’s odds and how far they would make it in the series while I watched, admiring each of them.
Every so often I had the chance to revel in how lucky I was to not only have them in my life as friends but more. I doubted I’d ever get used to it.
Luca caught me staring and shot me a half-grin, one that told me he was thinking about me in the same way. He winked, and I felt my cheeks warm. I longed for the cruise ship’s close proximity. Opportunities to be with them had presented themselves at every turn.
Our physical relationships changed that week. I grew closer to each of them and pushed the boundaries more than I expected. Of course, what had overwhelmed me then was something I now longed for. We were stalled now. Not progressing, just existing within the status quo.
I especially missed the anonymity of being six of the thousands of people aboard. We were just a bunch of teenagers. No one paid us any attention allowing us to be ourselves. No holding back or pretending.
Even though my brain knew that had been a temporary utopia, my heart still ached for it. We discussed our plans for after high school, maybe even moving in together, but that was over two years away. How was I going to survive that long? Was it immature to want to skip this time and get on with our lives? I should enjoy high school and this period of having freedom without much responsibility, but I’d give it up to be with the guys more than just at school. Hanging out for a few hours in the evening to do homework didn’t count.
I wanted to build our own world.
A few weeks ago, I never would have been ready for that, but now that I had a taste of what it would be like, I couldn’t forget. Sure, we’d have jobs and college to steal our time, but at the end of the day, we’d all come home. To each other.
That was what I wanted. Craved.
Maybe it was my lack of a stable home that made it easy for me to give up this precious time in my life. Before the cruise, I didn’t want to give up living with my dad, but if Juliet was cleared and we knew she could be trusted, then I would know he was happy. They could live in the city, and I could visit on the weekends.
I shook my head. Even if I managed to get Dad to agree to that, it didn’t mean any of the guys’ parents would be on board. I glanced around the table. Maybe Vince could persuade his, but they still relied on him to help with his younger siblings from time to time. That wouldn’t necessarily have to stop. He could watch them when they needed, he’d just have to use my car to get there.
I sat up straighter, feeling too excited by my horribly unrealistic fantasy. I was getting my hopes up. It wasn’t even worth mentioning to the guys. They would just be equally bummed about not being able to do anything to move toward this goal. Plus, what if one of them didn’t share my enthusiasm? I didn’t want to know that yet.
“Ave?” Luca called my name, and I let go of my daydreaming.
“Yeah?”
