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Chapter 1
The view of the street from my perch on the roof near my bedroom window showed how completely alone I was. Not a single other person stirred at this time of night. Lucky them. They could sleep. Lose themselves to easy dreams and the warmth of their comfortable beds.
I didn’t have that luxury. The nights I was exhausted enough to slip into sleep, my dreams were filled with such horrific flashes of destruction, pain, and loss that I awoke screaming.
It upset my little brother and sister. Brielle had only just outgrown her own night terror phases, and hearing me in the middle of the night was sometimes enough to trigger hers. Aiden told me he didn’t mind when I woke him, but I could see the purple bags under his eyes and knew he worried more than any seven year old should.
So instead of sleeping, I spent most nights with my back against the roof, staring up at the starry night sky or watching the silent street. I used to read or study to make use of the hours at least, but too often I would slip into slumber, so I no longer risked it. I got in the habit of braiding a tiny section of hair to keep myself awake, a habit that spilled over to the daytime as a way to soothe myself when there was just too much going on. Tonight, I was already working on my fifth. I should stop. They were a beast to get out and made my wild, tangled hair even worse, like I needed to draw more attention to my red hair.
A few years ago, a doctor gave Mom sleeping pills for me, but they made me feel groggy for half of the next day. I’d rather be tired with a clear head than wandering through school in a fog.
Most people were used to me being somewhat of a zombie, so their expectations were low. My teachers didn’t try to snap me out of my blank stares. As long as I turned in my assignments on time and did well on my tests, they left me alone.
One teacher, my freshman year, asked if something was wrong at home, and it took me far longer than it should have to realize she thought I was abused or neglected. That couldn’t be further from the truth. My parents were the most loving people on the planet. They’d searched for answers and solutions to my problems to the point of nearly draining their savings, but we hadn’t found a doctor yet who could fix me.
“Saige? Are you out there?” Dad’s deep voice broke me from my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I called back quietly. Brielle’s room was next to mine, and I didn’t want to wake her up accidentally.
I leaned forward on my hands to watch Dad step carefully out of my window and cross to my chosen spot. His dark blond hair was rumbled, and he wore plaid pajama pants with his old college shirt. I could tell by the lines on his face that he’d been sleeping for a while. What brought him out here this time? He was usually the first to find me when I snuck out here, and I was beginning to wonder if he had an alarm set or a sixth sense for when I needed him.
“Another bad night?” he asked once he was settled next to me.
I shrugged. A bad night meant a nightmare, but since I hadn’t allowed myself to attempt sleep, I hadn’t had one. But my parents weren’t exactly aware of how often I stayed up all night. They thought I came out after trying and failing to rest, rather than not even going near my bed.
“You have to sleep at some point, honey. You can’t go on like this forever. Nobody can survive without sleep.”
I ducked my head into my folded arms resting on my knees. “I can’t.”
His warm hand rubbed circles on my back. “Just because there have been some coincidences doesn’t mean something bad will happen every time.”
I peeked up at him enough for him to see my scowl. “Coincidences? The last earthquake killed over ten thousand.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but I kept going, running through the last month’s catastrophes. “Then the flood in Thailand that wiped out seventy percent of the country’s crops, the fire in the hospital in Italy, the shooting at the school in Florida. Oh, and we can’t forget the typhoon in the Philippines.”
I let out a long breath as Dad stayed silent behind me. He couldn’t deny the reality of my situation.
My nightmares came true. Every major disaster that happened was something I dreamed about, and it usually happened within a few days of me seeing it.
I was a danger to society. The world.
And that was why I refused to sleep. I couldn’t be responsible for more pain and death.
“Honey, you have to know you aren’t actually causing those things.”
I used to believe that, but after years of trying, I could no longer ignore the truth. I rolled my eyes but kept my head down so he couldn’t see and get mad at me. “No, I just see them, and boom, they happen.”
He shifted next to me. “That doesn’t mean you cause them. It just means that you have wildly accurate dreams.”
I shook my head. “What’s the difference?”
“A pretty huge one. You didn’t do anything to make any of those events happen.”
“I couldn’t stop them either. I can’t ever save anyone.” That was the worst part. I could almost handle the nightmares and subsequent screaming if I could do something about what I saw. If I could warn people, tell them to get out of the way, to prepare. But I never had enough details to know where the disaster was. Sometimes I could figure it out, but by the time I narrowed it down, I was too late.
“I wish I could make them stop.” I didn’t often admit that aloud. It was pointless since there wasn’t anything anyone could do, and it only made my parents feel worse. But every so often, I reached the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“I know, sweetie. Maybe one day we’ll understand.” He put his arm over my shoulders and squeezed me to his side.
