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“I think we can be more mature than that,” Niall shot back. “And remember, Saige doesn’t owe you anything. Ever. None of us.” He glared at each of the guys. “If you’re feeling unsatisfied, be ready for a discussion. Don’t expect her to jump into bed with you to keep you happy.”
“I would never,” Theo protested, but Niall held up his hand.
“Good.”
My fear of what happened between Theo and Natasha came flooding back to me. I forced myself to forget about her casual mention of his bond mark. The only way she could have only seen is if she’d been around him in his boxers. Or less.
The guys have pasts. I knew that. It was fine. Something none of us could change, but it was a huge reason why I wasn’t okay pushing us ahead into physical relationships.
Niall’s hand slipped through mine, and I froze. I didn’t have my mental shield up. Had he just heard all of that? Had Theo?
I felt my cheeks heating and peeked over at him.
“Natasha?” Niall asked.
The guys fell silent. Staring between me and Niall.
My stomach knotted, and I wanted to run. I wanted to keep this conversation from ever happening, but I couldn’t. We had to stop avoiding the uncomfortable.
“Saige,” Theo shifted to lean toward me. “It was a onetime thing.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to know.
Kaden and Sai looked lost again.
“This is what she was worried about. She had a suspicion Theo slept with Natasha.” He glanced at Kaden. “Her old roommate.”
Kaden cringed.
“We all have pasts,” Sai’s brows creased. “What matters is the five of us going forward. You're the only one for us.”
I can’t do this.
Niall squeezed my hand. “She’s worried about our pasts and what that will mean for us now and what our expectations are. She’s a virgin and is worried we’re not and that she’ll be holding us back from getting what we want,” Niall said while watching me.
I hadn’t thought that directly, so he either put the piece together or simply knew me better than I thought.
“Is that right?” Theo asked.
I nodded, staring down at my black converse.
“I’m not going to apologize for anything that happened before I met you, Saige.” Theo moved to kneel in front of me and took my free hand, “But I promise I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since I met you. I felt that spark and knew you were different.”
“Me either,” Sai added. “I’m not a virgin either, but nothing’s happened since I met you.”
“I am,” Niall stated. “Not that any of us are surprised by that.”
I giggled, and the guys laughed, breaking the tension.
“I’m not,” Kaden admitted. “And I do have a reason to feel bad for that. I knew about you and your mark and what it meant for years. I even knew you, but I didn’t know how long it would take to find you.”
I hated the remorse on his face. “Kaden, you don’t have anything to feel bad about. I’m not trying to make any of you feel guilty. I just wanted you all to know where I was at, and that I’m not ready to take things to that level. There’s a lot we have to do as a group to build a solid foundation before adding in anything like that.”
“I agree,” Niall said first before the others followed.
Theo didn’t move. He looked at me until I met his eyes. “Then no getting mad at us when we stop things before they get to that point.”
He had a point. He did the right thing that night in my room, but it still sucked.
