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I couldn't help but laugh at his childlike excitement. “It's a pretty cool trick.”
“It's amazing. Now let's go and see what else they can teach us.”
I had a couple of questions of my own, but as we entered their house, I doubted I would have a second alone with all the hustle and bustle in the kitchen. Dustin and Joey paused in their pizza-making just long enough to greet us. Emily wiped her hands off on a dish towel and came over.
“Hello, hello. Welcome to the madness.”
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean for us to cause so much . . .” I looked past her. “Damage to your kitchen.”
She laughed and waved off my concern. “It looks like this, even when Dustin and Joey are cooking for just us. They love it, and I certainly don't mind, especially with how much fun everyone is having.” We shared a laugh. Then Emily’s eyes narrowed. “Kaden, why don't you go over and help the guys out? I'm sure that they need someone to tell them when they've made enough pizzas or put on too many toppings.”
He laughed and headed over.
“Well?” She put her hand on my back and led me away. “What's going on? I can tell you're upset.”
She could? I didn't think I was upset anymore after my talk with Sai.
“There has been something on my mind, and I wanted to talk to you guys. But I don't want to take you away.”
“Oh, it's fine. Tell me what's going on.”
I told her about the uncontrolled shifting and training with Jeff and the other pups. “It's just that nothing's changing. Nothing's getting better. And I don't want to be at risk of attacking my mates. I don't want to wear the iron forever.”
She crossed her arms, as if seriously considering the question. “How often do you shift now?”
“Weekly with the rest of the pack.”
“That's not nearly often enough for a new wolf like you. For the next couple of weeks, you should go on a run every night before bed.”
“Every night?” I repeated.
“Definitely.”
“I didn't realize I needed to shift that often. No one ever mentioned anything.”
“When you have the opportunity like the other pups to come into your animal gradually, it's fine to shift a couple times a month. But right now, your wolf feels threatened. You need to show her that she has a place within you. She needs time to relax and feel more secure with you rather than being pushed away, and her having to fight for a way out.”
“I didn't realize that she, my wolf, could feel that way.”
“She has been there the whole time with you. She just didn’t manifest until recently. Correct?” Emily asked.
“Yeah, it's only been a month or two.”
“That's a long time for her to have to wait. Your magic was suppressing her that entire time, shoving her in a cage deep within your subconscious. She's lashing out now.”
When she described it like that, it made sense. Of course, my wolf would be upset.
“Once you show her she's welcome and accept her as a part of you, she'll settle down. You'll have more control over her, and she won't come out when your guard is down.”
“Why didn't Jeff tell me this?” I sighed, frustrated.
“Because he's been doing the same thing for years and years. I don't think he's had to teach anyone outside the norm.”
“How do you know what to do?”
“I met a shifter once who grew up in a terrible home. She didn't have a pack or parents to help her. It wasn't until she met other wolves that she realized what she was, and they helped guide her shift. But she began shifting uncontrollably–not just when she slept. It took them a while to figure it out and to know what she needed to do, shifting more frequently. It worked. She taught others who struggled like her, and it also worked for them. It's not as difficult or complicated as you might think. A wolf’s needs and instincts are quite basic. Once you understand them and respect them, your connection can be amazing.”
“I hope so.”
