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Maybe. But that didn’t have anything to do with her.
Under the table she gripped her knees to keep from reaching across and strangling him. Obviously, Levi hadn’t matured in the years they’d been apart. This date was pointless, she’d known that as soon as she saw him, but a small, lonely part of her had held out hope. Still, before she left, she had to set him straight. “My parents are comfortable,” she replied instead of killing him. “ButIown the bookstore, not them. I took out a loan. I’m paying it off.” So, yes, she understood business, she lived it and breathed it every day.
His mouth turned down as he gave a slow shake of his head. “You had so much potential. I thought you were going to New York to make something of yourself.”
A knot formed in the pit of her stomach and her eyes warmed. She’d thought so too, but plans had changed. “I’m a business owner and a mother. I’d say I have made something of myself.” And she’d never regretted the detour in plans.
Levi choked on his drink, coughing and sputtering as he tried to recover. “I didn’t mean to imply . . .”
Narrowing her eyes, Cassie nodded and sat up straighter, placing one hand over the other on the tabletop. “I’m sure you didn’t,” she lied. He’d definitely meant to imply her life was somehow less than it could have been with him.
Straightening, Levi pushed aside a plate to reach across the high table for her hand. Although she resisted the urge to jerk away, she didn’t experience any of the tingles that used to accompany his touch.
He met her gaze. “I’m sorry.”
Her mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
“I know I made bad decisions, and I hurt you. I’m sorry that my actions drove you to make mistakes that altered your plans.”
Anger surged through her veins. If he’d just stopped at admitting he’d hurt her, maybe they could’ve salvaged a friendship, but . . .
“Mistakes? What mistakes did your decision drive me to make?”
“Cassie, really?” His chastising tone scraped over her nerves. “You and Ryan? I mean, as if you didn’t already know that would end terribly. And then you compounded it by getting pregnant.”
Now she did snatch her hand away. SoElliewas her mistake?Hell no. An accident, a surprise, a miracle, all those would be accurate, but never had she thought of getting pregnant with Ellie as a mistake.
The time had come to end this date and head home. No way would she ever let this asshole anywhere near her pants again. “I think it’s time for me to relieve the babysitter.”
She wouldn’t tell him her daughter was actually with Ryan, or that he’d stay all night if she asked him. She needed this excuse to get out of here.
Levi checked his watch. “Cassie, we still have hours. Don’t leave mad.”
Already signaling for the waitress, she pulled out her wallet.
“Oh, come on,” he started. “It’s been five years and you’re still single. You can’t pretend I said anything you didn’t already know. You want certain things out of life. Ryan’s never going to give you any of them. I could be a great husband to you and a father to your kid, even if it’s not mine.”
Oh my God, someone stop him before she murdered him.
“Ryan is an amazing father. You’d never be a substitute for him.” In any capacity. Levi was too loud and too arrogant, too blond and toonot-Ryan. For one night, she could probably overlook those facts. She had before. Before she’d slept with Ryan. Now she couldn’t ignore that Levi wasn’t Ryan, and she couldn’t make herself want anyone else. Not for her and certainly not as a stepfather for Ellie.
Sliding off the stool, she dropped more than enough cash to cover her untouched dinner and drink beside her plate. “Have a good evening.” With those words, she spun away from the table and marched toward the door.
“Wait.” Levi pushed away from the table.
She stopped, taking a deep breath before turning.
“Did you leave enough for the tip?”
She didn’t bother to keep from rolling her eyes this time. “Go to Hell.”
She hurried out of the restaurant and through the parking lot to her car. Before she’d spotted Levi sitting at the table, she’d been looking forward to her mystery date, hopeful she’d end the five year drought that had become her sex life. Not that she’d planned to fall into bed with this guy tonight, but maybe. She leaned her head against the driver side window. Why couldn’t dating be as easy for her as it was Ryan? Why couldn’t she just move on and have meaningless sex with someone?
Because sex meant something to her. It meant becoming vulnerable and letting someone in, exposing herself and all her insecurities. She couldn’t do that with just anyone. In all honesty, she didn’t want to.
Sliding into the car, she glanced at the time again. Ellie had been so excited about spending time with Ryan. Cassie didn’t want to ruin all the plans she’d made for the two of them. They were going to eat pizza and do makeovers and watch a movie. Leaning her head against the headrest, she closed her eyes. She wished she was home with them, cuddled beneath a blanket, laughing as Ellie made Ryan over and he painted her tiny nails. But she’d give them their time. She started the engine and pointed her car toward the nearest coffee shop.
* * *
