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“I really can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Can you at least tell me when he’ll be back?” I ask.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s not coming back,” Sawyer says lightly.
“W-what do you mean?” I take a seat on the edge of the couch. The floor becoming shaky and my vision getting a little fuzzy from the tears building.
“He’s taking some time away from the city, from…” She doesn’t finish her sentence but we both know the end of it. Cody is taking some time away from me, and didn’t have the heart to say goodbye. And whether I like it or not, it is all my fault.
Chapter Fourteen
Sawyer’s words ring in my ears the rest of the night. Which is how I end up drunk before eight pm and Riley dragging my ass home. The bartender stopped serving me when I was crying into my tequila sunrise because he didn’t make it the way Cody did. Sawyer called Riley to come and get me not just because I was scaring the customers, but because it looked like I needed some help. In reality, all I need is to talk to Cody.
“I don’t want to wear this.” I push Riley aside and start taking off my work blouse. Kicking my heels down the hall as I reach my bedroom. It’s then I realize something is different. I pause, as Riley follows behind me quietly waiting for me to say something.
“What’s going on?” she asks confused.
“Something’s different.”
“Uh, your room looks the same.”
I shake my head and that’s when it hits me. All of Cody’s things aregone. He had his clothes hanging in my open closet, a pair of shoes on the bottom. There used to be blue chapstick on the nightstand that belonged to him, along with his boxers and t-shirts in a pile next to my bed. I always teased him about it but now they were gone. When has he done this? They were here this morning when I left for work.
“I could’ve seen him.” I start crying.
“What?” Riley’s eyes go wide as she catches me in her arms.
“He came here, he packed all his things. But if I just came home, I would’ve been able to stop him.” I sob.
“You don’t know that.” She rubs my back gently.
“I could’ve talked to him. I didn’t know he’d leave without saying goodbye.” I sob even harder. It feels like my mother dying all over again. This is why I don’t get into relationships, I should’ve known better.
“Why don’t we get you to bed and we can talk about it tomorrow?” Riley suggests.
“Okay.” I nod. “Can you stay over?”
“Yes, I already texted Sawyer.” She helps me into the bed.
I grab Cody’s pillow, switching it to my side. As I move the pillow, a t-shirt slips from behind it. My eyes light up as I realize it was the one he was wearing last time he slept over. I pull it to my nose and hold it close, it still smells like him too. Riley grabs some pajamas from my dresser for us but I shake my head, slipping Cody’s t-shirt on instead. It isn’t the same but if I close my eyes, it is like he is still here.
***
I wake to the smell of bacon and pancakes. What should be a wonderful smell sends me running to the bathroom in a panic. Luckily I make it, emptying my stomach in the toilet and slamming the door behind me.
“Everything okay?” Riley calls through the door.
“No! I’m sick! Don’t come in!” I know if Riley sees me throwing up she’ll be joining me.
“I’ll be in the living room!” she calls and I hear her walk away.
I assume it must be all the alcohol I consumed last night but I’ve never had that bad of a reaction before. I know I am getting older, but are hangovers suddenly going to make me sick to my stomach? Before I can think too much about it, I get sick again. After a few minutes the reality of last night hits me.Cody is gone.
Pulling myself off the bathroom tile, I wash my hands, brush my teeth, and hope Riley is done cooking. When I come to the kitchen she has the food covered and a scented candle going. The scent of warm pumpkin and fall apples filling the air instead.
