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“Um, Cody? There’s a woman at the door for you?” I hear someone call.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He frowns and turns to go.
I’m not sure if I’m thankful for the interruption. What woman is here for him? I follow behind back to the party, look for something nonalcoholic to drink. Sawyer’s at the door with Cody and the mysterious blonde woman. I help myself to a bottle of water, some chips, and try not to be too obvious in my staring.
The blonde woman holds onto Cody’s arm with her long red fingernails, laughing as if he’s the funniest man in the room. She’s wearing a short, skin tight black dress that shows off her perfect hourglass figure. It would be hard to compete with her on a normal day, let alone six months pregnant. Am I even in the competition anymore? I shovel chips into my mouth and try to find someone else to talk to.
Riley’s occupied with some of her friends from a cooking class she took recently. One of her latest new hobbies she’s tried. She had said the class was a bust but she ended up making a bunch of new friends who regularly went out for drinks. As they all sip their wine and laugh together, I can’t help but feel a little jealous. It is like everyone here is moving on without me.
I manage to make some small talk with a few of Riley and Sawyer’s friends. They all asked about the baby bump, which is how most people these days treated me. I am no longer Luna, I am the baby bump holder. It is lonelier some days more than others. I notice Cody’s eyes on me and my stomach as we make our rounds across the room. The woman doesn’t leave his side, but his eyes don’t leave mine. It takes everything no to run over and be in his arms again, but I am stronger than that. It is my hormones who aren’t. They make me into a weepy romantic.
“Hey, happy birthday.” I give a hug to Sawyer after I finally make my way around the room.
“Thanks, and thanks for coming.” She smiles.
“Of course.” I nod.
“I’m going to ask, because he’s too polite. Is the baby his?” She grabs my wrist as I turn to go.
“I’d rather not discuss this here, Sawyer.”
“You made sure to hide it this far. I think you owe everyone some answers,” she says sharply before walking away.
I take that as my cue to leave and grab my coat from the bedroom. It is bad enough with Cody here, but my hormones can’t take anyone else being upset with us. I try to sneak out but that isn’t exactly easy to do in a New York apartment and a belly the size of a bowling ball. Heading for the subway, I am glad I knew my way around. I run down the stairs, my muscles cramping up and feeling heavy. I take some deep breaths as I run and slide through the doors of the subway at the last second. That is the last time I run in heels, I should be used to it by now honestly but today seems to be hitting me harder. I am breathing like an asthmatic who did a marathon. I am getting some stares but people should know better than to stare on the subway.
I’m thankful there’s an empty seat, I plop down and stretch my legs. I didn’t want to miss this train but now I will be on here for twenty-three minutes, and I could use a break. My dress is starting to stick to me, I wish I had opted for a lighter fabric. It is the winter on the Q line, I should’ve known better. This is one of the many subway lines that turn the heat up to one thousand degrees. The outdated orange seats are sticking to my legs and the sweat will start to ruin my makeup.
As if things can’t get worse, the train stops and on come three men running with oversized instruments. I don’t hold back an eye roll as they hop on at the last second and start playing.Rightnext to me. I ignore their out of tune singing and strumming as much as I can by pulling out my phone. I scroll through the apps in my phone, willing the internet to work despite knowing we’re underground and that it’s spotty at best. I settle on opening my rarely used Kindle app and open a book I must have been reading.
I like reading, I just never have time for it. Or make time for it. If there is spare time, I have a list of things I’ll be doing and reading isn’t on top of the list. I pretend I’m engrossed in the words while the music gets louder. The comically oversized guitar is inches from my head and all I want to do is offer them $5 for them to stop playing. My eyes roll as they start dancing too. The only ones even paying attention to them was a family of tourists. All clad in their “I heart NY” t-shirts and stature of liberty hats, they are all too easy to spot.
Thankfully they stop and proceed to hop into the next train car to bother someone else. I am not in the mood to hear that for the next twenty minutes. I should be used to it, I grew up here. But each time I encounter it, it is something that can make my blood boil to no end. I mean how much money could they possibly be making to do that all day long? Maybe they encounter more people paying them to stop.
The rest of my ride is uneventful, giving me too much time to think. I knew I should’ve skipped that stupid party. I could’ve been at home enjoying some takeout and a long bath, but instead I had to face the one person I hoped I’d never see again. I knew there would be questions, but if he wasn’t there I could lie my way through them. I didn’t care if everyone thought I was a slut, it was better than the truth. Until I saw those hazel eyes again, it was like everything changed for me. The way he looked at my stomach and back to me, I don’t know what’s worse. Him thinking I cheated on him, or him knowing the truth. Either way, I know he’ll never forgive me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Cody?” I turn the corner to my apartment door and see his familiar frame standing outside my door.
“I didn’t think I’d beat you here.” He chuckles nervously.
“I’m carrying a bit of extra weight these days,” I add anxiously.
“Luna,” he starts but I stop him.
“Please, come inside.” I let him in to my apartment and I kick off my heels immediately. My feet are still killing me. “Sorry, but I can’t wear those any longer.”
“It’s okay. I think you know why I’m here,” he starts again.
“You want to know if I’m fat or pregnant?” I joke, but he doesn’t crack a smile.
“Luna.” He looks at me.
“It’s yours, Cody.” I sigh. It’s like everything I had tried to do in the last few months are undone with just those three words. His jaw drops and he sits on the couch with his head between his hands.
“I don’t expect anything from you.”
“Excuse me?” He looks up at me.
