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“It’s just not. Francie, stop wiggling and plant your behind this instant.”
A sudden wetness soaked my sock.
I looked down, unable to believe what I was seeing.
My dog was peeing on my shoes. Not only that, she’d lifted her leg and aimed like a male dog, because she’d hung out with a bad crowd at doggie daycare last week and apparently wanted to thumb her nose at my rules.
Or her leg.
Vanessa swallowed a laugh as I stood there motionlessly in my dripping shoes. “Why?” she repeated. “Why is my living next door such a bad thing?”
“Do you really need me to spell it out?”
“Yes, I do. We haven’t exactly been besties thus far, but I didn’t think you’d want to take out a restraining order against me. Now your fellow cop with the stick up his ass is a different story. I’m toxic waste, according to that prick Masterson. But he probably hasn’t gotten any since college—”
I stepped very close to her and used my height to loom over her so she had to crane her neck to meet my gaze. Finally, she closed her mouth.
Momentarily.
“I want to do the kind of things to you that don’t fit a nice family dinner, Pocket Plus.”
“Murder?”
I almost laughed. Almost. But my pants were too tight and my head hurt and she’d caused both. As usual.
I shook my head.
“Sexually?” She gasped it loudly enough both of my heads pulsed. “Why, you dirty bastard.” Then she grinned. “I’m available anytime after seven.”
“No.” I pointed at her, and Francie jerked to high alert, ready to scrabble off after her nonexistent stick. “Not you, dog. And no, forget it. Not happening. You are not going to wander over without a bra and lure me into bed.”
She peeked into her shirt. “I have a bra on. But that’s easily rectified.” She started to wrestle with her clothes, probably so that she could do that remove her bra under her shirt trick that all women seemed to know.
“I will arrest you for public nudity if you don’t stop right now.” I didn’t point this time.
Her bluer than blue eyes fired with interest. “Cuffs are interesting.”
“You are an actual menace.”
“Valid.” She tucked her tongue into her cheek. “Can you even walk right now?”
“I hate you.”
“So…no.”
She was studying me below the waist again. My dick didn’t seem to mind, if the whole stretching and preening thing he was currently doing was any indication.
Usually, I didn’t personify my cock as separate from me. But at this moment, I no longer felt in control of it—or this situation.
Definitely not this woman.
“Okay, I’m intrigued. What are you prepared to offer me beyond the price I paid for this property?” She licked her lips and held up a hand. “Not more money. I have enough of that.”
“How? You work in a bakery.”
“Never mind that. What else is on the table?” She tucked her thumbs in the belt loops of her shorts. “How about a free lifetime park anywhere I want pass?”
“I can’t break the law for personal gain.”
