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“Dammit. Then what else do you have?”
“I can make you an ice statue of your choosing. In the winter,” I added, in case she failed to grasp that was a cold weather activity.
Or I could make her something out of wood, but I’d save that for a Hail Mary option. Wood was insanely expensive right now.
“Nah, you make them gratis for my sister. I can just steal one of hers.” She smiled. “Keep going.”
“I can convince Christian to toss one of your outstanding tickets. One,” I enunciated carefully, despite the fact I had no idea how I would pull that off.
Christian wouldn’t let his own mother out of an overdue parking ticket, forget a woman with a stack a mile long.
“Try twenty and you’re getting warmer.”
“You have twenty outstanding tickets?”
“Actually, I think I’m forgetting some.” Her tone was far too perky. “One of these days, I’ll probably get arrested. Never been arrested.Yet.”
She made it sound like a bucket list item she wanted to check off.
I rubbed my forehead. She was obviously crazy, which everyone knew meant she’d be off-the-charts hot in bed.
Hmm, maybe I was thinking about this all wrong. Maybe hair of the dog that bit me would be the quickest way to get through this sticky situation.
Buddy, you’re in big trouble.
But there was one thing I knew I had in spades. An ability that had served me well since high school. I might get harder than a steel pike in seconds flat with the proper inspiration, but I knew she wouldn’t take me down before I sank her battleship first.
“I’ll make you a deal.”
One slim red eyebrow arched as she waited.
“If I can make you come before I do, you’ll sell the land to me.”
She stared at me for so long I was sure she’d never go for it. Then she started to laugh, long and low. “You’re afraid to have sex with me, so your idea to solve this situation is to…have sex with me?”
“I did not say sex. Coming does not require penetration.”
“Thank you for the sex ed class.” She shook her head. “You like pushing your luck, hmm? I called it earlier. Cute but not bright. Though you are male, so one can only ask for so much.”
I gritted my teeth. “There are plenty of other equally desirable properties available in town or nearby. You’ll walk away ahead any way you cut it.”
“I’ll walk away with the money I paid and one measly orgasm? Pal, I had two before breakfast.” She propped her hands on her hips. “Do better or I’m headed back to my bus. Hey, do you keep your bedroom blinds open, by any chance?”
I sucked in a deep breath. “Two waived parking tickets, a pass for free parking on Sundays, the full price of the land plus five percent and one not at all measly orgasm for you to move far away. And take that traveling tin can with you.”
She tapped a blood-red nail on her crossed arm. “Sundays already have free parking. Try again.”
“If I get fired, I can’t pay my mortgage.”
“Okay, forget the parking pass. Two waived parking tickets and best two of three on the orgasms. Whoever gets to two first.”
“Honey, I’m not even going to get to one, so you have yourself a deal.” I flashed a cocky grin that stayed firmly in place until she extended her hand to shake.
I was supposed to touch her now? I hadn’t fully considered that.
Fuck.
Stiffening my spine, I reached toward her and grabbed her hand for a quick shake. Then I wrapped my dog’s leash around my hand and crossed the street.
