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Chapter Fourteen
A few weeks later…
Tuesday’s appointment came and went. Afterward, I felt weak, and my shoulder was sore and stiff for a few days. There is a scar under my arm that Dr. Gordon said should fade over time. Luckily, I only get the tingling when something touches the area. Other than that, everything else seems to be healing.
It can take seven to ten days for the results to come back. Jacob keeps calling, and I keep ignoring him. He has sent flowers to my office and left more than enough long messages on my voicemail, begging me to call him back so he can explain. But he never goes into detail.
Explain what? That you fucked me and don’t even remember? Ugh, every time I think about it, I get pissed off more and more.
Maybe it’s the stress of the test, the waiting for the results. Or maybe I’m just done, done pining for someone who doesn’t want me.
Suddenly the conversation from the night at my parent’s plays in my head.
“What about Jacob?” My father asked.
“What about him?” I replied.
“Don’t you think you should tell him?” He continued.
I shrugged my shoulders, “No. It’s none of his business.”
“He loves you. You know?” Dad said.
Does he love me?
I pull my phone from my desk and text mom.
Did dad say Jacob loves me?
The three dots appear, and the reply takes a moment to pop onto the screen
Yes, and he does.
For the last two weeks, I’ve been in a fog, a stress-induced coma, and I guess I wasn’t paying much attention to things. I wonder how they know? I swipe and hit my mom’s picture to dial her line as I lean back in my chair and face my boss's office door.
“Hi honey, how are you doing?” she answers after two rings. “I’m just in a waiting limbo. You know how I love to wait,” I answer, getting up and walking over to the copy machine to retrieve the Maintenance Agreements I’ve printed out.
“How do you know he loves me?” I ask in a whisper. Not wanting any of my co-workers to know about my love life. She laughs, “The two of you have loved each other for years. It just wasn’t your time yet.” She admits.
“What makes you so sure?” I wonder about tapping the end of the pen against my lip.
“He came here. He admitted it. I don’t know what got you both pissed off with each other, but work it out. You’ll never love someone the way you love him. I can see it every time he walks into a room. You light up. He’s it for you.” I sigh in defeat. “I know, I think that’s what scares me,” I admit, plopping down in my office chair. “What if this test comes back positive? What if they have to remove my breast? What if I lose my hair, mom? He could never be with someone like that. He deserves better,” I admit.
“Danielle, you listen to your mother. When you love someone, it doesn’t matter what they look like or what changes they go through in life. You and Jacob are soul mates. You were lucky enough to find each other. The rest will fall into place.” I agree to an extent. But can’t you see, I don’t want him to start a life together with me with all these issues. “Maybe it’s not our time yet.” I whisper, “Mom, I have to go. I’ll talk to him after the results come back,” I promise.
We talked about our weekend plans to meet up at the car show across town.
“Hey, mom, what if he is there? He mentioned registering the car to do some shows.”
She answers, “I don’t think he made it on time for this one. It’s early in the season. Besides, if he’s there, who cares? You are bound to bump into him eventually.” Suddenly I feel like this could be a trap or a setup. I stay silent for a moment longer.
“I love you, Dani, anytime you need me.” She states. “I love you more,” I say, ending the call.
Time went a little quicker today, as I noticed the clock reached four o’clock. I turn my computer off and head out of the office. All I want to do is get home, take a shower and stop thinking about everything.
*.*.*
The shower was refreshing, and I felt relaxed as I slid my legs into a pair of sweatpants and tugged my t-shirt from behind the elastic. I turn into the kitchen and reach out to open the fridge and retrieve a beer. I stick a few in the freezer to get them extra cold while I pull a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and place it inside the microwave.
