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Joel looks down and kicks the snow. “Fuck!”
Thank you, that’s exactly how I feel.
He storms back to my truck, pours more hot cocoa, then walks over and drops into the snow. “Sit.”
Miles and I sit down on either side of him. He hands us each a hot cocoa, then pulls a frigging flask out of his pocket and pours some in his. He holds it out to me, and I gladly pour some in mine. I hand it back and he offers it to Miles, who shakes his head.
“No. Someone has to drive your sorry asses home. Now, what the hell happened?”
I tell them the story, skirting around the details of our dreams. They don’t need to know that.
Joel drops his head into his hands. “I’m sorry.”
Letting out a rough sigh, I make a fist and tap his hand. He looks up and then at my outstretched fist. “We’re good. If it was someone else… I’d want you to protect her.”
“Doesn’t excuse me hitting you, though. We’re always supposed to be in this shit together.” He bumps my fist with his.
Running a hand through my hair, I grumble, “Damn it. How the hell did this get so fucked up?”
“You two need to work on your communication,” Miles deadpans.
“Thanks for that.”
He gives me a nod, then stands. “Come on. Let’s get back home and figure out how to fix this mess.”
My heart seizes. How long have we been talking? I have to fix thisnow.
Yanking my phone from my pocket as we walk back to the truck, I dial her number. Joel watches as defeat washes over me.No answer.
I call again. And again. Nothing.
I lift my phone to try again when Joel puts his hand over mine. “This won’t fix it.”
He’s right, and I hate it, so I nod and put my phone away, trying to calm myself as we drive back toward town. But a second later, Joel’s phone rings.
He looks over at me—we’re both sitting in the back seat of my truck because I’m such a mess I couldn’t think to climb in the front seat.
“Rae.”
“Answer it,” I tell him.
“Hi,” Joel quietly answers.
Because the volume on his phone is ridiculously loud, I can hear her voice.
“Please don’t hate him.” Her voice is quiet but filled with emotion. “I’m mad at him. I’m hurt. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I need you two to be okay. Please, I need all of us to be okay. The five of you and our friendship are the most important things in my life.” Leave it to Rae to be worried about everyone else at a moment like this.
Joel sighs. “I know. I know I shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of you two—”
“I love you for it,” she says. “You’re my brother, Joel. I love you.”
“I love you too, Rae Rae. But our friends are important to me, too. Miles took care of it. Aaron and I are fine.” He glances over at me. “You know, he wants to talk to you.”
“No,” her voice is sharp and panicked. It reminds me of how she sounded after she was assaulted, when she didn’t want to talk to any of us, when she was so overwhelmed with pain.Did I hurt her this much? Did I hurt her at all? Or is she finding reasons to be hurt?
“Please,” she continues. “I can’t.”
“I’ll tell him.”
