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She sniffles. “I’m sorry I did that.” She says it like a kid apologizing to their parent. She’s very sheepish and quiet about it. Then suddenly she looks like she’s going to cry hysterically.
I scooch over next to her and lean against the tub. I put the pillow in my lap.
“Come here.” She lays her head on my lap. “What happened?” I ask, massaging her head and playing with her hair.
“I’m a mess,” she sniffs. “I feel like I’m unraveling. Everything that happened with Trevor… it still hurts. I know it wasn’t going to be right long-term, but sometimes I regret breaking up with him because I lost one of the most important people in my life. Maybe not forever, but for now. I miss him, and I miss his hugs and how he knew exactly what to say to comfort me. He’s so reliable and I miss having him there, having that support. Especially because…” She trails off and looks down, whispering the next words. “Vanessa called me last night.”
Great, Sarah’s shitty bio-mom always showing up to ruin the day.
“What did she say?” I ask softly.
“The same stuff she always says. It’s her telling me she’s sorry while blaming me, but this time, there was a twist. She’s having a baby.”
“What?” I nearly shout.
People like Vanessa shouldn’t be allowed to have kids.
“I know, right? And it was all about how happy she is and how much better her life is now.”
“Why did she even call?” I mutter.
“That’s what I don’t understand,” Sarah sniffs. “She was broken. She didn’t know how to take care of me, and she abandoned me. It sucks. It hurts. But my life is better now than it ever would’ve been with her. Why does she have to call me and rub it in my face? Why is she like this? Why wasn’t I enough?” She cries harder, practically hyperventilating.
“I don’t know why she left you or why she still treats you like this, but I do know it says nothing about you and everything about her. You deserve to be loved and supported and uplifted. You deserve that and so much more.”
I stroke her hair as she continues to cry.
After everything, why can’t Vanessa stay the hell out of Sarah’s life?
“I hate seeing you hurt over her. I know she gave birth to you and raised you some, but she doesn’t deserve you. You aren’t missing out on anything by not having her in your life. She’s missing out on your brightness and brilliance.”
Sarah squeezes my hand.
“Try to remember, you already have your real mom,” I say. “And she will never ever leave you alone.”
“Even when I want her to,” she laughs.
She sits up, links her arm with mine, and rests her head on my shoulder again.
“Tell me a secret,” she whispers.
A smile crosses my lips as I consider telling her how I’m feeling about Aaron. If I do, it’ll probably make her feel a bit better.
“Well,” I begin, sucking in a long breath, “I’m doing better. I’m sure now I’m in love with Aaron. And I’m finally ready to tell him. I’m ready to be with him.”
I wince, waiting for her reaction. She slowly pulls her head off my shoulder and stares at me, eyes wide and mouth pulling into a smile.
“Oh. My. God,” she says.
“Yeah. So there’s that.”
“What are you gonna say? And when?”
“I have no idea. I guess I’m gonna tell him how I feel. I actually almost said it tonight. I’m scared as hell, but damn, I want him.”
“Wow. You really are falling for him. You are so screwed,” she says.
Hopefully, literally.One day, at least.
