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I let out a sigh. “Oh. Maybe they want to talk about Miles and I going for a late-night drive last night.”
“Maybe,” Sarah says, but she doesn’t seem convinced.Shit.
“Want me to come down with you?” Joel asks.
I force a smile and shake my head. “No, I’ll be okay. Thanks for this morning, though.”
He climbs out of bed and kisses my head. “Anytime, Rae Rae.” He shoots Sarah a wink and slides out the window.
I force myself out of bed and throw on a cozy sweater and my slippers before following Sarah downstairs. When we get to the front room, I see my parents talking very seriously with Katie, and my stomach flips. Sarah instinctively reaches for my hand and squeezes it.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask. “Hi, Katie.”
She smiles softly. “Hi, honey.”
Mom stands up and looks at me, and the unsettling feeling in my stomach grows. “Hi, come sit.”
Mm. Don’t wanna. I don’t like the vibes I’m getting.
Sarah drags me to the couch and sits down with me, never letting go of my hand.
“Okay, tell me what’s going on, because you’re freaking me out here.”
Dad clears his throat. “Your mom and I spent a lot of time talking last night about what you told us. We love you, and we understand why it was so hard for you to tell us, and we’re glad you’ve gotten help, but we’re still concerned.”
Mom inhales deeply and reaches across the coffee table, taking my other hand. “We would like you to consider reporting him.” My eyes widen and I jerk back. “I know you don’t want to hear that. We weren’t sure about it ourselves, which is why we talked to Katie about what that process looks like.”
Katie has worked all kinds of jobs in counseling and social services over the years. I know she knows all about this stuff. That doesn’t make me feel better, though.
“No,” I mutter. Because I don’t want to do this. I don’t want more people to know. What if there’s a trial? I can’t deal with that.
Katie rubs my arm and my gaze snaps to her. “I know there are a lot of unknowns and scary things about this idea, but it’s something I always recommended to all my clients in similar situations. It is ultimately your decision, but I’d like to share with you some reasons why you might want to do this and answer any questions you have.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. I know I kept this in for a long time, but did my parents have to box me in like this? I don’t really have another choice, so I nod at Katie.
“I’m sure the idea of reporting him and reliving your story is both scary and upsetting. I’ll be honest, it might not change anything, but there’s always a chance that it could. There’s a chance he could be arrested. There’s a chance you could help stop this from happening in the future. I don’t want to overstate what could happen, because these things are never clear cut, and it often depends on the police officers you talk to, whether there have been other reports, and if it did progress, what kind of legal teams are involved—but it’s something. Even if nothing happens and you’re the first to file a report, if someone else filed one after you, it might be taken more seriously.”
“None of us are saying you have to,” Mom says. “But we’d like you to at least think about it.”
“What if he was arrested? What if I had to go through a trial? I’m not sure I could handle that.”
“If that happened, we’d do everything in our power to protect you, but it could be difficult for you. You have to decide whether that’s something you’re willing to risk,” Dad says. I look at his glassy eyes, the way he’s staring at me. “I don’t want him to get away with it,” he mutters.
Fuck.
“I don’t either…” I flip my hand through my hair, frustrated and overwhelmed. “What about everyone else? Would they need to be involved?” I look directly at Katie. “What about Miles?”
She nods slowly. “I would recommend that Miles and Aaron both be involved in reporting since they saw the most. That’s a conversation we’d have to have if you decide you want to pursue this.”
“No,” I say.
“No, you don’t want to?” Mom asks.
“No. I need to talk to everyone else first.” I glance at Sarah, who whips out her phone and starts texting.
Mom smiles softly. “Of course. Do that and let us know what you decide.”
“Okay.” I get up and go upstairs, Sarah trailing behind me. I sit down on my bed, my mind racing with all the complicated pieces of this.
