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His eyes go wide. “So youarepissed. You could’ve told me. You could’ve frickin’ talked to me. Jesus, you’re worse than Rae.”

That sets me off for a number of reasons. My jaw ticks, then I cross the room and stare at him. “Right, I forgot. It all has to bemyfault.”

“How am I supposed to know that I’m being a raging jackass if you don’t tell me?” His eyes lock with mine and he smirks at me.

Asshole.

“Fine. You’ve been acting like a raging jackass. Happy?”

He sighs and looks at me seriously. “No, I’m not. You’re my best friend—”

“Am I?” I cut him off, anger coursing through me. “Because you have a funny way of showing it.”

“Aaron…”

“No. You want to do this? Here it is. This has been one of the hardest years of my life. I was broken, spiraling, and out of control. I know that. But I needed my friends. I neededyou. And where the fuck were you? Every time you were around me you were either so blatantly on Rae’s side that I couldn’t even talk to you, or you were telling me what a shitty version of myself I was being. Like I didn’t already know. Newsflash, I didn’t need you to tell me I was being an asshole. I needed you to know there was a lot more to it than that. I needed you to support me, not roll your eyes at me. I needed you to chooseme.But you never do. You never have. Youalwayschoose Rae. And I get it. She was your first best friend and you’re crazy close… but you’re still supposed to be my best friend. Where the fuck were you for me?” He blinks at me, anger and pain rolling over him in waves. But I don’t care. I’m not done.

“It would’ve been nice to have you in my corner, someone helping me instead of telling me how badly I was fucking up every second. Even now, I still feel like you’re pissed at me for how I was. You’re wondering why I didn’t talk to you, but can you blame me for not? I was spiraling out of control and even though things were messy as hell, it was still Rae who was there for me the most. Which is ridiculous. Slowly, everyone else showed up for me. But you were last on the list every damn time. Forgive me for thinking you wouldn’t want to talk now.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but the door flies open before he can. It’s just as well. I don’t know what he could say right now that wouldn’t piss me off. Everyone is in the middle of a boisterous conversation and misses the tension between Joel and me. Except Rae.

She looks between us, then gives Joel a soft smile. Her eyes find mine and she tilts her head in concern, one look communicating more than her words could. I know she’s simultaneously asking if I’m okay and telling me to forgive Joel. I give her a little nod and turn toward the conversation everyone else is having. Joel walks away a few minutes later. Normally he’s the life of the party and always has a bounce in his step. Not today.

I almost feel bad. Ishouldfeel bad. But how he feels right now is how I felt formonths.I let out a silent sigh and mentally kick myself when I realize I’m punishing him. I could have talked to him. Ishouldhave talked to him once I got to a better place. The truth is, I didn’t want to. It was easier to be angry at him. And for all the anger I endured from him, it only felt fair.

Now I’m worried I let it fester too long. My relationship with Rae is already screwed up. I don’t want to lose my friendship with Joel, too.

Rae

“Happy birthday!” Sarah, Mackie, and Amanda shout together, shoving a cupcake loaded with frosting in front of me.

“You are officially nineteen now. Eat up!” Mackie shouts.

“And drink up!” Amanda declares, raising her glass of champagne.

“I think we’ve done enough drinking,” I say with a laugh. Mackie and Amanda are both well on their way to being drunk. Sarah and I are comfy being tipsy. “But this cupcake does look so damn good.”

“I put all the frosting on it for you,” Sarah giggles.

I attempt to take a bite, but the massive amount of frosting ends up all over my cheeks and chin. I sputter cake bits out of my mouth as we all laugh and I try not to die choking on my birthday cake.

What a way to go.

“Hmm. You’ve got a little something… everywhere.”

We all stop and look up at the sound of Aaron’s smooth, sexy voice.

He gives me a panty-meltingly sexy smile.

“Wanna lick it off?” I ask.

What? Who said that?

The smile gets sexier, and I’m pretty sure everything south of my hips is hot and wet.

Alcohol plus Aaron being sexy is a bad, bad mix. It makes me want to do things I’ll regret tomorrow. Or later today. Not because I don’t want to do them, but because it would crush me that we weren’t together once I was sober. Or now.

Spiral incoming.

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