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Not if you’re hiding out and purposely avoiding him.
Ugh, brain. Can I avoid you too?
Anyway, the point is, I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Which is why I’ve been wandering campus, trying to avoid populated areas. I pull my phone out of my pocket, ready to turn it off, when Jesse’s name flashes across my screen.
Someone who doesn’t know what’s happening and will make me laugh? Okay.
I accept the call and put my phone to my ear. “Hey, J.”
“Rae Rae,” he says jovially. I hear giggling in the background.
“Tell Carrie I say hi.”
Jesse and Carrie officially started dating a few weeks back, and he’s been nauseatingly happy since. But I’m happy for him. I talked to her on the phone once, and she seems like a perfect match for him. A little bit spitfire. A little bit sweet. And keeps his cockiness in check.
Carrie yells a greeting back at me in the distance.
“So, how are things?” Jesse asks.
I shrug, even though he can’t see me. “They’re fine.”
“Uh-huh. And that’s why you’re running away and avoiding everyone’s texts and calls.”
Shit.
“Who told you?”
“Joel. He figured if anyone could get to you, I could. That you wouldn’t suspect me.”
“I didn’t. Now that I know, I might need to hang up on you.”
“Don’t.” His voice loses all its playfulness, and that hits hard. Jesse is always playful, especially with me. “Talk to me.” His voice is now calm and soft. It reminds me of how he talked to me the night of my birthday party.
I let out a sigh and drop onto a nearby bench. “Something’s up with Aaron.”
“Okay… that explains nothing.”
“Well, don’t interrupt me again.”
“Fine, sorry. Go.”
With a sigh, I sum up how the last month has been, and specifically, what happened last night. “He’s never yelled at me like that. He half apologized by text, but I don’t really want to be around him now. It hurt. I don’t like when I feel hurt because of him. It scares me.”
Jesse takes a few deep breaths. “So, you’re what… gonna keep running away from him? It’s not cool that he yelled at you. It sucks that he’s not talking to you. But hiding out isn’t going to help. You’re worried about getting hurt? You’re going to hurt more if you don’t let him in.”
I blink a few times and then grimace. “Since when are you the relationship expert?”
He laughs wryly. “Since I finally know what I have to lose.”
Carrie makes some sort ofawwnoise in the background and I know we better wrap this up because they’ll be making out soon.
“Okay. I see your point. But what if he keeps hurting me?”
“Then you cross that bridge if you come to it. But you’ll hurt yourself more if you don’t deal with the problems in your relationship. Look, I gotta go—” There’s kissing in the background and roll my eyes. “But go talk to him. You love him, remember?”
For whatever reason, it’s those words that soften me. Idolove him. And if he got that angry, maybe some more feelings need to trickle out. I want to be there for him, but he has to let me. But neither of us can do shit if we don’t try.
“I do. Thanks, J. You traitorous asshole. Have fun getting dirty with Carrie.”
