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I smile at that and start up the treadmill.
As I run, my mind swirls with ideas about how to tell her. I’m tired of pushing and trying to twist every situation into this. I want it to be relaxed, simple, easy—everything this last year hasn’t been.
And then it hits me. In two weeks, we’re going to be Charleston together, a place that has always been incredibly special to us. Only this time, we’ll be there with no parents. We can spend time together. I can plan a special night in our special place. And maybe we can finally,finally, get this right.
After a long workout, I feel better, and make my way home. I take a hot shower before collapsing in my bed. My eyes flit to the curtains, obscuring my view out the window. I think about opening the window and looking for the brightest star, but before I can, my phone goes off.
Beautiful: Hey, Ace. Sorry I had to run out earlier. Still miss you, so hopefully we can make time for stars soon. Anyway, I’m about to fall asleep, but I wanted to text you first.
My heart warms. Part of me wants to go over there and climb into bed with her, but I’m done trying to force this. Take it easy, keep it simple.
Me: I’m glad you texted me. We’ll look at the stars soon. Get some rest. Goodnight, Beautiful.
Beautiful: Night, Ace.
I take a deep breath as I toss my phone to the side. Waiting for Charleston is a good plan. We’ll be away from everything else in our own little bubble. And taking the two weeks in between now and then gives me a chance to plan something perfect for her. Maybe find something special for her, too. Plus, it gives us a chance to reconnect, build up to it slowly.
And it gives me time to grow some balls.
Yeah, I definitely need to do that. Because I am not leaving Charleston without her knowing the truth.I love her, I want to be with her, and I’m ready to fight this time with everything I have.
Chapter seventeen
We Both Lied
Rae
“No,it’sfine.Pleasecall if you need anything. You can always call or text Michelle or Renée as well.”
“Thanks, Rae. I’m grateful to have a much better support system here. Thank you for helping me get here.”
“Of course. Let me know if you need anything else, Lyndsey. Okay?”
“Will do. Have a good night.”
“Yeah. You too.”
With an exhale, I hang up and sink onto the couch in Joel’s living room. There’s a bonfire going on outside, but I stepped away to take this call. And now I need to process.
After nearly two months of helping Lyndsey and spending time with her, she’s moving in with her best friend’s family. And today, they all went together to report the guy who assaulted her. With a strong support system in place, I don’t think she’ll need me as much. As it all wound down, my own feelings crept in more.
I’m two years out from what I went through, but it still feels like yesterday sometimes, which means that, as much as I love helping and supporting others, sometimes it takes a toll on me.
“Hey, you okay?” Joel asks, leaning against the hallway door frame.
“Hey. Yeah. I’m okay. Just—”
“Aaron?”
I blink a couple of times, then smile. “Actually, no.”
His eyebrows shoot up and he wanders over to the couch, plopping down next to me.
Aaron’s on my mind, just like he always is, but I’ve had a lot of other things going on, too. From supporting Lyndsey, to getting volunteers lined up for the outreach program so there are people in place when I go back to school, to nannying, to kickboxing and spending time with the girls, I’ve barely seen Aaron. When I have, though, things have been calm. There hasn’t been much forward motion since our almost-kiss, but since then, we text every night before bed. Just a quick check in. And every text ends the same way, with the wordsgoodnight, Beautiful.
It’s sweet and simple, and it reminds me of who we used to be when we were first falling for each other, and given all the pain and angst, I’m fully enjoying this. It also gives me hope for where we’re going and what Charleston might bring.
“So, what’s on your mind?”
