AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Oh fuck.
She’s forceful. And what she wants is clear.
I press on the back of her head, shoving myself into her until I come in her mouth.
She stands up, wiping her mouth. “Still wanna leave?” she asks me.
I…
She has me on her bed before I’ve thought of an answer to that question. Things are starting to spin.
She strips me down and starts kissing me all over, especially along my hips, down to where they meet my thighs. And continuing to betray me, my dick hardens again. I should try to stop her, but I don’t. Maybe it will feel good, numb more of the ache inside. She grabs a condom from her drawer and locks eyes with me as she slides it on. Then she climbs on top, riding me hard and moaning like a porn star.
And that’s when something inside me clicks. I let her do all this, but it feels wrong. And I don’t want to be this guy.
I don’t know what I want or who I am. But I know what I don’t want and who I won’t be.
This needs to be over.
I sit up, flip her over so I’m on top, do what I need to do to make her scream, then have a halfhearted release myself. Then I get dressed and tell her this was a one-time thing.
She giggles and says, “Well, I’m around if you ever want to make it a two-time thing.”
It occurs to me that if I hadn’t shown up here tonight, it would’ve been some other guy. And that’s fine. That’s her prerogative. But it’s not me.
I’m not a random hook-up guy. I never have been. And regardless of where things are with Rae, I don’t want to be.
I walk back to my dorm and spend the next two hours intermittently puking. When I’ve puked everything out, I chug some Gatorade and fall into bed, hating myself more than I did a few hours ago.
I wake up to Joel smacking me on the back.
“Wakey pakey,” he says in a joking tone.
“Fuck off,” is my gruff reply.
“What crawled up your ass last night?”
“Nothing. Do you want me to shove my foot up yours? Seriously. Leave me alone.”
Does he? Never.
“Miles!” he calls.
Fuck my life.
“Whew boy. What did you get into last night, A?” Miles’s deep voice comes from the end of my bed.
“Come on. I’ll get you some Advil, but you gotta get your ass outta bed. Then we’ll go sop whatever this is up with some greasy breakfast sandwiches,” Joel tells me.
I need food.
I sit up slightly.
Ugh. And pain meds.
Miles tosses me the bottle and I take some with a glug of the Gatorade I opened last night.
They drag me out of the dorm and to the dining hall. I’m sitting at a table across from Miles, who is tapping away on his phone. He’s a perpetual morning person. That asshole. It’s barely eight.
