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“Liya?”
I snap my jaw shut and shake my head. “No,” I blurt. But I think the damage is already done.
“Liya,” she hisses while leaning forward. She slides her glasses down the bridge of her nose and gives methat look, the one that could force me to tell her anything.
Well,almostanything.
I blush while biting my lower lip. “We’ve been having…you know.A lot.”
Her eyebrows skyrocket. “You’ve been fucking?”
I shush her and then nod. “I mean, likerabbits, Willow. It’s been every night. I’m still adjusting to being a Pakhan’s wife. It’s, uh…” I shrug as I cough nervously. “It’s just a bitdemandingis all.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?”
I nod eagerly. “Yes, Willow. I’m so serious. He hasn’t hurt me. He hasn’t laid a finger on me.” I hide behind my glass while adding, “At least not one I haven’t wanted.”
She giggles while sliding her glasses back into place. “All right, how big?”
“Willow.”
“Come on! Just hold your hands up. Give me a measurement. I won’t tell.”
I explode with giggles while covering my face. It’s strange how quickly it feels like the old times. Just me and Willow, sitting at Momo’s. Bottomless mimosas while making fun of Greenwich Village’s elite.
I sigh, sip my drink, and set it down, adjusting my sun hat to shield my eyes.
And then reality comes crashing back.
“You know, I’m really confused,” I tell her. “One minute, he’s the guy of my dreams, and then the next, he’s this…” I lower my voice. “The ruthless Pakhan who terrifies me.”
“It’s all about reputation in the Mob, right?”
I nod. “Sure is.”
“A guy like Pavel has to keep up his appearances. If he looks like a dreamboat, then nobody is going to take him seriously.” She looks thoughtful for a moment and whispers, “Even to you.”
“I must be broken or something.”
She looks sympathetic. “Girl, why the hell would you think that?”
“Because I…” I shrug. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m bad at this whole thing. I’m not acting like a very good wife, am I?”
“You mean to the guy you gotsoldto?” She scoffs. “By your brother!”
I shush her. “Willow,please, we’re in public.”
“Sorry, right.” She waves her hand and continues in a low voice, “Any reasonable person would be feeling what you’re feeling, Liya. But you know something else?”
“What?”
She smiles and reaches across the table to take my hand. “You’re so much stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t fear your strength. Embrace it. Reallyharnessit.”
I smile weakly.
“Use that strength to show Pavel that you’re his wifeandhis queen.” She squeezes my hand. “And don’t beat yourself up about trying to help Pavel.”
“I really failed with that one, Willow. You have no idea. It was adisaster.”
