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Gunfire cuts through my mind as bile stings my tongue. I try not to think about it.
She shakes her head. “Stop it. Pavel was impressed enough to listen to you once. He might do it again.”
“I fucked up,” I repeat, not sure how else I can explain to Willow.
“If you can get him to listen to you again,” she presses. “Then maybe the monster will disappear and the man of your dreams will remain.”
It’s so far-fetched that I almost believe it. And I desperately want to.
But she has a decent point.
I give Willow a thankful smile and squeeze her hand. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Uh, you’d probably flop around like a fish out of water.”
“Yep, that’s about right.”
She grins as she points to my glass. “Refill?”
“Please,” I groan. “More champagne and less orange juice this time.”
***
It’s not until I shut the front door that I realize Pavel is sitting quietly in the living room with his brows knit together. He’s staring at his muddy reflection on the television screen when I wave my hand in front of his face.
He blinks and sits back. “Yes,rodnaya?” He rubs his eyes. “How was your brunch date with Willow?”
“Good,” I reply.
He nods. “That’s good.”
He doesn’t quite meet my gaze, his eyes still clouded with whatever he was thinking about.
If you can get him to listen to you again, then maybe the monster will disappear and the man of your dreams will remain
I set my bag on the coffee table and sit next to him.
“Looks like you were lost in thought,” I say softly. “Do you need help with anything?”
“I do, actually.”
My heart quivers at the sight of his small, thankful grin. I return the smile and sigh, allowing my body to relax.
He runs his fingers through his hair. “I want to hear your thoughts on how I can fight two wars at once.”
“You mean between Kiril and Cardona?”
He nods.
I hum while turning toward the television. The flat screen is impressive even when it’s off, taking up nearly half the wall. No wonder he’s been staring at it. “Well, you can’t fight every battle. You’ll end up losing too much in the process.”
“Should I shift my focus?”
I frown at my hands, searching my brain for the right words. Will I fuck this up again?
And what will happen if I do?
Don’t fear your strength. Embrace it.
