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“Lacy, I hurt you. I know that and if I could change the past I would. But all I can do is promise you tomorrow and all the tomorrows afterward.” Breathing ragged, he took another step toward her. “You know, last night, after we talked, after I told you everything, I realized something I never had before.”
“What?”
One word only, but he took that as a good sign, too.
“It wasn’t just losing Jack that drove me from here—though that was devastating. I was scared. See, I loved you so much more than my own twin, the thought of losing you was unimaginable.”
“Sam...”
“No,” he said quickly, “just hear me out. I couldn’t stand the thought of maybe losing you, as well. Seems stupid now, to leave you because I was afraid of losing you.”
“Yeah,” she agreed wryly. “It does.”
“But leaving didn’t stop the fear,” he told her. “I still thought about you. Worried about you. Loved you. Staying with you is the only thing that can stop that fear. I know that now. I want to be with you. Dream with you, for however long we live.” He took a long breath, let it out and said, “I want to risk the pain to have the love.”
Lacy’s heart was galloping in her chest. Her mind was reeling. She looked up into his eyes and knew that he was right. About everything. At the start of their marriage, she had been waiting for Sam to let her down. She’d kept her guard up, prepared to be hurt. As much as she’d loved Sam, she’d never really gone all in. She’d held a part of herself back. Always cautious.
She had forgotten that her father had always been there for her. In her pain over the loss of her mother, she’d refused to see that love doesn’t always leave. Sometimes it stayed. And it was something to count on. To trust in. That was the love she wanted to believe in. The kind that never left. The kind that lasted forever.
Yes, she thought, looking up at him, Sam had made mistakes, but so had she. If she had been stronger in her own right, more self-confident, she might have forced him to talk to her in those days after Jack’s death. They might have worked this out together. But she’d been half expecting him to leave, so when he did, she’d let it happen instead of fighting for what she wanted.
Now she was willing to fight.
He was watching her through those beautiful green eyes of his and she knew that the next step was hers to take. It always had been. She had to forgive. Had to believe. And looking into his eyes, she knew she did.
Love wasn’t perfect. No doubt in the future they’d both make mistakes. But they would both stay. Together.
“You’re right,” she said, and watched as some of the tension drained out of him. “About a lot of things. But mostly,” she said, “you’re right that risking the pain is the only way to have the joy I feel when I’m with you.”
“Will you risk it?” he asked, gaze never leaving hers. “Will you marry me again, Lacy? Will you trust me to be there for you and to always love you? Will you have my children and build a family with me?”
There it was, she thought. Everything she wanted, shiny and bright and laid at her feet. All she had to do was reach out and take it.
She held her hand out for his, and when his fingers closed around hers, she felt the warmth of him slide down inside and ease away the cold. “Yes, Sam. I’ll marry you. I’ll believe in you. And I’ll love you all my life.”
He gave a tug and she flew into his arms. As he held her, he whispered, “Thank God. I love you, Lacy. Now, always, forever, I love you.”
“I love you, too, Sam. I always have. Always will.” She nestled her head on his chest and listened to the thundering beat of his heart.
His arms encircling her, he asked softly, “What do you say we start making babies right away?”
A slow, satisfied smile crossed her face as she leaned back to look up at him. “You can cross that one off your to-do list, Sam.”
“What do you—” Understanding dawned and his eyes widened even as his jaw dropped. “You mean...are you...already?”
She nodded, waiting for the pleasure to ease past the shock. It didn’t take long. His grin spread across his face and lit his eyes with the kind of joy she had once dreamed of seeing. Reality was so much better.
“We’re going to have a great life,” he promised her as one hand dropped to tenderly cup her flat belly.
She laid her hand over his and said, “We’ve already started.”
