Page 21 of Upper Hand


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I don’t want to show him what I’ve become.

So I don’t show him anything. I let him collect his own drink and show me the two-story penthouse with an infinity pool on the upper deck and the main bedroom with double matching walk-in closets and the bathroom with a shower big enough for four people under its rainfall showerheads.

I let him take me outside to the infinity pool with fresh drinks. We each have our own patio chair, tucked into a pocket of warmth from a set of silent, high-end patio heaters and an outdoor fireplace.

The sunset is well underway. It burns over the city, red and orange and purple. It’s not lost on me that this could have been my life. Watching a brilliant sunset with Jacob Chambers in our two-story penthouse in Manhattan. An expensive heater pushing away the cool of the fall night.

“What do you think of it?” Jacob tips his glass to his lips. It doesn’t set me on fire the way looking into Elise’s eyes does, but it tugs at some innocent, nostalgic part of me. He hasn’t stoppedbeing beautiful. If anything, the years have made him more gorgeous.

It’s just that I can’t go back. The future we could have had belongs to a person I’ll never be again.

“It’s a gorgeous place.”

He nods, his cheeks flushing slightly in the glow from the fireplace. “You didn’t come here for a tour. You came here to talk.” Jacob puts his glass on the slim table between us and meets my eyes. “What’s on your mind?”

“We didn’t have a chance to talk about the dinner party at the Bettencourts.”

Jacob smiles, a broad grin that says he’d rather not. “We could pretend I never made a fool of myself.”

“You didn’t.”

“Bullshit. I attacked you like a lovesick puppy. Not my finest moment.”

“If it helps, you’ve never seemed like a puppy to me.”

His laugh is cultured and rich and warm. It could have been my husband’s laugh. I feel a pang at the sound. A complicated pang. There’s no point in feeling sad about the loss. Maybe it’s not Jacob I’m so torn up about losing.

Maybe it’s myself.

“Well, good. You never seemed like a puppy to me either.” His eyes gleam, and his lips part like he wants to say more. A silentexcepthangs above the forced-air sound of the heaters. Iwaslike a puppy. Could hardly stand to be apart from him. Oh, I hid it underneath cutting comments and sharp flirtation, but when we were behind closed doors? All bets were off. Jacob doesn’t say any of it. “That’s what you wanted to talk about? The dinner?”

“It seemed like they were welcoming us to the consortium, but you said something about an initiation. That wasn’t it.”

Jacob’s smile fades. He looks out at the sunset, thoughtful, then back at me. “I don’t have all the details.”

“But you have some.” I don’t have to try for the fascinated, slightly pleading expression. It just happens. Total focus on him. Slightly raised eyebrows. “I don’t have any.”

My ex-boyfriend runs a palm over his mouth. He crosses an ankle over his knee. “My dad’s been warning me about it for years. Lately the warnings have gotten a bit dire.”

“Dire?”

“Dire and vague, which isn’t especially helpful. I’ve always known I would join him in the consortium one day, and I knew there would be some kind of initiation. In the last year, though, he seems worried about it. He says things likedo whatever it takes, Jacob.” His imitation of his dad is spot on. “Whatever happens in the initiation stays confidential.”

My stomach clenches. The drinks I’ve been sipping feel bitter and heavy. “Goodness. Is he trying to change your mind?”

“No, I think it’s a genuine warning. I think what happens is violent. Possibly sexual.” Jacob watches me, his brow furrowed, and I watch back, willing him not to notice that sweat is beading under my collar. My heart kicks up. It feels loud. Can he hear it? He seems to make a decision. “And I’ve heard there are consequences for not going through with it.”

“Like what?”

“People have died. Dad won’t answer if I pry into it too much, but people disappear. Two women that he knows of. A couple of potential partners. They’re never seen again, which means they’re probably dead.”

My stomach sinks. I give an exaggerated blink. “And here I was thinking it would be shaking hands and signing a contract.”

“Oh, Gabriel. You were always so vicious. And so pure.” This time, his laugh is lower. More intimate. “From what I can tell, it’s a bonding experience.”

“A violent, sexual bonding experience that will mean death if we don’t make it through?”

“Let’s hope it’s not as bad as that.”

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