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I reach out and grab him by the front of his shirt. It crushes in my hand. Wrinkles fold into it. Gabriel lets me pull him over the threshold and into the bakery. It’s a million times smaller with him standing inside. There’s no space to breathe.
Frankly, I’m not sure I care.
“Now that you’re not standing in the rain, explain yourself.”
“I couldn’t let that happen to her.” Gabriel’s dripping on the floor. I want, more than anything, to unbutton his shirt and take off his wet clothes. I don’t dare reach for him.
“What does it matter, Gabriel? It’s my sister. You don’t even know her.”
“She should know what she’s up against.Youshould know what she’s up against. Teenagers don’t know what the hell they’re doing. And you…”
It hurts to hear. It’s true, and Gabriel has harrowing experience with being a teenager in over his head. The part thatdoesn’t make sense is that saving Lydia won’t save him. It can’t. “What about me?”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
I raise my eyebrows. I was taken aback when he showed up in the rain. Now I feel strangely light. This isn’t nothing. Whatever we mean to each other, it isn’t nothing. “Really? So you went and tracked down my sister’s shitty love interest? And you came and brought it to me tonight?”
He scowls, and it’s gorgeous. I don’t look that good when I’m pissed. He’s the most beautiful man, even in wet clothes, even with the corners of his mouth twisted. “That’s only because I don’t have much time.”
My gut goes cold. “What do you mean? Did my father say something to you?”
“No. I talked to Jacob Chambers. Hisfather told him about the initiation that happens for new members of the consortium. From the way he described it, the damn thing could be violent or sexual or both. And if we don’t complete the initiation, we’lldisappear.”
I want to argue with him. Tell him it’s not true.
But it sounds exactly like something my father would do. He’s never said anything about his specific plans for initiating new members directly, but he’s mentioned loyalty. And consequences.
“You shouldn’t do that. Walk away from all this.”
“I won’t. I expected that joining the consortium would be dangerous. I always knew there was a chance I might die, and Jacob confirmed it. All it changed is that I got serious about tying up loose ends.”
“Is that what I am? A loose end?”
“No.”
“Then what, Gabriel? You’re not the only one who wants everything neat and tidy. My father does, too. He threw meout of the house after I took Lydia home. Do you know what he told me? He said I couldn’t come back unlessIjoined the consortium. If I don’t do it, I’ll never see my sisters again.”
Gabriel’s mouth drops open. He stalks toward me, raindrops shaking from his shirt. “He threw you out?”
“It was a fun Uber ride home.” An expensive, hellish Uber ride.
“You’re not going to do that. You’re not joining that goddamn consortium, Elise.”
“I can do whatever the hell I want. I don’t have to listen to you. Ihateyou.”
“I don’t hate you at all.” The words sound like they’re beyond his control. Gabriel comes closer, and it doesn’t look like he’s in control of that, either. It’s like he’s compelled to step forward and take my face in his hands. Compelled to look down into my eyes. “That’s what makes this so fucking terrible. I don’t hate you. Iwantyou. I want you so much that I’m willing to hurt you. But you can’t do this.”
“You already hurt me.” His hands. My skin. It feels good, and I shouldn’t let it feel good, because he’s wet from the rain. He’s cold. “You don’t get to do it again. And this isn’t your decision. It’s mine.”
“What do I have to do?” He stares at me like he’s never seen me before. “What do I have tosay?”
“There’s nothing you can say. You of all people should understand that, Gabriel. You’re the one who’s willing to die for revenge.”
“I can’t help it.” A slash of a smile. “I’m an asshole. Anyone who loves me is going to be collateral damage.”
“Well.” I blink stinging tears from my eyes. “It’s a good thing I don’t love you.”
“I hope you don’t.” He leans closer. So close that his wish whispers across my lips as pure heat. The only warm thing abouthim. “God knows I don’t deserve it. Loving me isn’t good for anybody, least of all you.”
