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“You were angry with me. I understand.”
His shook his head. “Never at you. At circumstances. At life.”
“I know exactly how you feel.” The words shredded her throat.
“I wish I could make it better for you,” he said, his brogue low and rough.
“You already did.”
Suddenly, she was flooded with a fierce, overwhelming gratitude for him, one that burned clear into her soul. She knew in that moment that she would kill for Royal Kendrick. She would give up her own life for him, just as she would for Tira. After her daughter, no one would ever mean as much as Royal did.
One hand still resting on her daughter’s little body, Ainsley curled the other around his neck and tugged him down to meet her lips.
Their mouths met in a soft fusion of sorrow and love. It was as sweet and tender as the kiss they’d shared all those months ago in London. This one spoke of a thousand broken promises, but also an invisible bond that would hold them for a lifetime, even if they never saw each other again.
He retreated first, reluctant but clearly determined. “It’s time, love.”
She blinked the tears from her eyes, gathering herself for the final good-bye.
“Good-bye, my darling,” she whispered, stroking her daughter’s kitten-soft cheek. Tira snuffled in her sleep, turning her face with instinctive trust into Ainsley’s palm. The sweet pain of it ripped her soul to pieces.
“Be a good girl for your papa,” she choked out.
“I will always love her, Ainsley,” Royal said. “All the Kendricks will love and protect her.”
She bent and pressed a last kiss to Tira’s forehead, breathing in her daughter’s soft, milky scent, one she would never forget. Then she somehow forced herself to step back, even though every muscle in her body shrieked in rebellion. The hole in her heart became a chasm.
Be strong, for Tira.
She drew herself up and met his gaze. “Be happy, Royal Kendrick. For my baby’s sake and for yours.”
“Is that an order, my lady?”
“It is.”
He forced a smile that fractured at the edges. “And the same to you, lass. Be happy, for all our sakes.”
Thankfully, she was spared the need to reply when he turned and strode across the hall, his tall figure quickly disappearing in a dazzle of sunlight through the open doors. The sun hadn’t shone for days, and now it streamed into the hall like a benediction.
Her aunt moved to her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “The child will have a good life with the Kendricks, my brave girl. And nowyoucan have a real chance at happiness, too. You’ll see. It’ll get better, I promise.”
Ainsley nodded, even though she knew she would never be truly happy again.
* * *
As the carriage pulled into the courtyard of Castle Kinglas, Royal took off his hat and rubbed his throbbing head. Never had he been happier to arrive home and more terrified at the same time. He couldn’t begin to imagine how he could pull this demented plan off.
He leaned across and touched the arm of the wet nurse, dozing on the opposite bench. “We’ve arrived, Mrs. Monroe.”
She came instantly awake, peering into the basket on the seat next to her.
“Tira is still asleep,” Royal said.
“Thank the Lord. I thought the poor bairn would never go down.”
Ten minutes after they departed from Underhill Manor, Tira had startled from her slumber. She’d taken one look at her surroundings and started wailing. She’d more or less kept it up for the entire journey, despite their best efforts to soothe her. Mrs. Monroe, who was obviously a competent and experienced nurse, had done her best, rocking her and quietly singing old lullabies for hours on end.
Only when Tira was feeding did she stop crying, and even then not for long. It felt like she was protesting the absence of her mother, her distress growing stronger with each mile that separated them.
