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“I haven’t been paying attention.” She’d been too busy enjoying the rural scenery.
“Let’s stop,” Lucy said. “I want to go to a mall.”
“I don’t think there’s a mall near here,” Nealy replied.
“Like how would you know? And let me drive. I know how to drive this thing.”
“Quiet,” Mat said, “or you’ll wake up Butt.”
To Nealy’s relief, the baby had finally fallen asleep in her car seat. “Her name is Marigold.”
“That’s stupid.” He reached for the can of root beer he’d taken from the small refrigerator. She’d already noticed that he was something of a root beer addict.
“Butt doesn’t like it, either,” Lucy said, “but She doesn’t care.”
Nealy had been relegated to She twenty miles ago. “Well, that’s just too bad because it’s what I’m calling her.” She felt another surge of pleasure at her glorious rudeness. Imagine being able to talk to members of Congress like this. Sir, the only thing that smells more than your breath is your politics.
Quiet settled over the motor home, which Lucy had informed her was named Mabel. Even this broken-down Winnebago had a better name than that baby.
Mat glared at the road, his head cocked to the side as he continued to listen for engine noises. Nealy realized she was enjoying herself, despite the less-than-desirable company. A beautiful summer day with no receptions or formal dinners ahead of her. Tonight, she wouldn’t have to put ice packs on her hands to recover from another receiving line.
Soreness from too many handshakes was the bane of political life. Some Presidents had even developed their own systems for protection. Woodrow Wilson put his middle finger down, then crossed his ring and index finger above it so no one could get a good grip. Harry Truman grabbed the other person’s hand first and slid his thumb between their thumb and index finger to control the pressure. Ida McKinley, wife of President William McKinley, held a bouquet so she didn’t have to shake hands at all. But Elizabeth Monroe, the beautiful but snobbish wife of the nation’s fifth president, had an even better system. She simply stayed away from the White House.
Public figures developed lots of little tricks to make formal occasions more tolerable. One of Nealy’s favorites came from Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth. When she wanted her aides to rescue her from a boring conversation, she simply switched her handbag from right arm to left.
“I want to go to a mall.”
Where was that handbag when you needed it? “Why don’t you listen to your Walkman?”
Lucy tossed down the bag of chips. “I’m sick of that. I want to do something fun.”
“Do you have a book to read?”
“I’m not in school. Why would I read a book?”
Mat smiled. “Yeah, Nell. Why would she want to do that?”
Books had been Nealy’s most faithful companions as a child, and she couldn’t imagine anyone not enjoying reading. She wondered how parents entertained children when they traveled. Although she was the First Lady of the United States—the symbolic mother of the country—she had no idea.
“Would you like to draw?” she asked.
“Draw?” It was as if Nealy had suggested she entertain herself by playing with a dead rat.
“Do you have some crayons? Colored pencils?”
She snorted and continued picking at her toenail polish.
Mat shot Nealy an amused glance. “It’s the millennium, Nell. Crayons and colored pencils are old-fashioned. Ask her if she wants drugs and a handgun.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It’s funny.” Lucy looked up from her toe. “The first funny thing I’ve heard you say, Jorik.”
“Yeah, I’m a regular Jim Carrey.”
Lucy got up off the couch. “We have to stop. I’ve got to pee.”
“We have a toilet. Use it.”
