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Nealy finally understood what this conversation was about, and it broke her heart. She didn’t care whether Lucy wanted to be touched or not. She reached across the table and cupped her hand. “Oh, Luce . . . Mat and I aren’t going to get together, not the way you want. I’m sorry. We can’t make a home for Button or for you.”
Lucy shot up from the table as if Nealy had struck her. “Like I’d want to live with either one of you. You’re so fucking pathetic!”
“Lucy!” Mat came storming toward them with Button tucked under his arm. His expression was angry, and he shot one hand toward Mabel. “Get in there.”
“No, Mat . . . it’s all right.” Nealy rose, trying to stem his anger.
Button began to whimper.
“It’s not all right.” He gave Lucy a blistering look. “You’re not going to talk to Nell like that. If you want to act like a brat, you can do it by yourself. Now get going.”
“Fuck you, too!” Lucy stomped off through the grass toward Mabel.
Mat clenched his fist. “I want to hit her.”
“Lucy can be maddening, but I think—”
“No, you don’t understand. I really want to hit her.”
Button looked up at him, eyes wide, lower lip beginning to tremble. He set her to his shoulder and patted her back. His expression was troubled. “It’s what I used to do with my sisters when I was a kid.”
“Did you?” She was torn between listening to him and going to Lucy. If only he’d been more patient with her instead of flying off like that.
“They used to enrage me, just like Lucy did, and when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I’d haul off and slug them. A couple of times I left bruises on their arms. I’m no damned good at this. It’s why I hate being around kids so much.” He shifted Button to his other shoulder.
“You hit them?” She watched Button poke a wet finger into his ear canal. “How old were you?”
“Ten. Eleven. Old enough to know better, that’s for sure.”
Not all that old. But Nealy knew nothing about relationships between brothers and sisters. “Did you keep hitting them as you grew older?”
His eyebrows shot up. “Of course not. I started to play hockey instead and took out my anger on the ice. During the summer, I boxed a little. Looking back on it, I think sports saved my sisters’ lives.”
“So you didn’t keep hitting them?”
“No, but I sure wanted to. Just like now. She’s such a brat.”
“She’s having a hard time. And wanting to hit her isn’t the same thing as doing it. I don’t think you have to worry too much about being a batterer.”
He looked as if he were going to argue, but at the moment she was too concerned about Lucy to listen. “I’d better go talk to her.”
“No. She’ll wrap you around her finger. I’ll do it.”
“Wait a minute! You need to know what—”
“Save it. There aren’t any excuses for that kind of behavior.” He passed Button over to her and set off for the motor home.
As Nealy watched him go, the baby twisted in her arms and started to cry. Nealy stared glumly at the table of uneaten food. So much for her wonderful picnic.
Lucy lay face down on the bed, with her fist crushing her heart. She hated him! She hated them both. She wished she’d gotten hit by a car and gone into a coma. Then they’d be sorry for the way they treated her.
She clenched her fist tighter and squeezed her eyes shut against her tears. She was being such a brat that she couldn’t even stand herself. It was no wonder they hated her. Nell had just been trying to be nice. Why did she always have to screw everything up?
The door of the motor home banged and Mat charged in. Now she was really going to get it. She didn’t want him to see her lying on the bed slobbering, so she got up real quick and sat on the edge.
She wondered if he’d hit her. Sandy’d never hit her, not even when she was drunk, but Trent had once.
Mat came stomping back to the bedroom. She sat up straighter and got ready to face him. “I’m sorry!” she yelled before he could yell at her. “That’s what you want to hear, isn’t it?”
