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“To you?” Ana frowns. “Has he hurt you?”
“No! I mean, he’s kind of a dick sometimes, but—” I try to think of how to explain it. “He feels distant. Unreachable. Like there’s this whole other side to him I can’t possibly understand.”
“Sofia, these men are different. Men like Luca and Franco—they’re conditioned to see wives and children as just another asset or liability on a balance sheet. Something to consider in terms of its value. My father was always like that. He would have taught Luca to be the same, and I’m sure Luca’s father did that too.”
“I don’t remember my father ever treating my mother like that,” I say quietly. “He loved her. I know he did.”
Caterina is quiet for a moment. “I don’t remember much about your father, Sofia. But I think I remember him coming over for dinner occasionally when I was younger. He would talk about a daughter, and I always asked if I could meet her, and my father would always tell me to be quiet. But yours was always kind. Soft-spoken. I can see how having him in your life would have raised you to expect more from men.”
I feel tears burning behind my eyelids, and I do my best to force them back. The last thing I want to do is break down on a night that’s supposed to be happy. It’s meant to be Caterina’s night, and it’s the first time I’ve seen Ana in weeks. If Caterina can be cheerful after losing her mother a week ago, then I can manage not to cry over the mention of my father, who has been dead for nearly ten years now.
“Luca makes me feel confused,” I admit. “I do want him. I’ve never felt this kind of attraction to a man before, ever. But I can’t help thinking that it’s just physical because he’s so handsome. That I can’t possibly love someone like him.”
“What do you mean?” Ana asks curiously. “What is it about him?”
“He’s thedonnow.” I stare at her. “And before that, he was Rossi’s underboss. He’s killed men. Probably tortured them, done all kinds of awful things to them—and for what? So he can sell drugs, or guns, or whatever businesses he gets all this money from? How am I supposed to love a man like that? Someone who could hurt someone else just for, for—”
“It’s not about thethings,” Caterina says quietly. “It’s about loyalty, about trust, about not going back on your word. All of these men do terrible things, but they all have a code. And if Luca hurts someone, it’s to keep them from hurting others he cares about. It’s not about whatever merchandise they’re moving. It’s about making sure that betrayal is unacceptable. That all the men around him are loyal. And that the other mobs stick to the agreements that the leaders have made.”
I frown at her. “How do you know all of this?”
“I listen.” She shrugs. “My father isn’t always quiet when he has meetings at the house. And I’ve heard him talk about Luca before. Luca is restrained when it comes to those things. He’s never more violent than he needs to be. He doesn’t enjoy it.”
“And what about Franco?”
Caterina is quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know about him—how he feels about all of that. We’ve never talked about it.”
I remember, suddenly, what Luca said at dinner that night. That he’d always protected Franco, done the worst of the things that needed doing so that Franco wouldn’t have to.So that Franco wouldn’t have to deal with the demons that came with it.
I hadn’t paid much attention to what he was saying then. But it occurs to me that it shows a side of Luca I hadn’t seen before. The kind of man he is beyond our interactions.
The kind of man who would do awful things, get blood on his hands that he can’t wash off, to spare his friend. The kind of man who shielded a childhood friend from gossip and then kept on protecting him.
The kind of man who is struggling now, knowing that he can’t protect his friend any longer—and that maybe he protected him for too long.
“Luca mentioned to me that he’s kept Franco from having to get his hands dirty too often.” I glance at Caterina. “I think he’s been trying to protect him from some of those realities.”
“They’ve been joined at the hip since they were kids.” Caterina rubs her hands along her thighs, letting out a long breath. “There were always rumors that Franco’s father was Irish. His mother got pregnant not long after the head of the Irish mob in Boston came to visit, and with Franco’s red hair—well, you can see how the gossip would start. It was proved that he wasn’t illegitimate. Which was good—for him and his mother.”
“Wait—what would have happened?”
“Probably the kind of thing that happens in any of these crime families,” Ana mutters. “And it’s never good for the woman.”
“I think it’s safe to assume his mother would have been killed. Franco—possibly him, as well. And it would have started a war with the Irish. Franco’s father wasn’t part of the inner circle. Still, he was respected enough that the Irish leader sleeping with his wife would have been seen as a terrible insult. It wouldn’t have gone over well.”
I stare at her, horrified. But even as I open my mouth to protest that surely, Franco’s mother wouldn’t have been murdered even if she’d cheated—for one thing, what if she hadn’t? What if she’d been forced?—but then I realize that of course, that would have been the result. Rossi had wanted to killmejust because it was easier than trying to keep me alive. If it weren’t for Luca, I’d be dead.
Do you see a pattern here?The small voice in my head whispers.He’s protected Franco. He’s protected you. Maybe he’s not as terrible as you think he is.
“I told you that my mother and I came here after my father was killed by the Bratva,” Ana says quietly. “Sofia, I know that you’re struggling with the circumstances that forced you into this marriage. And I know Luca isn’t the kind of man you would ever have swiped right on in the real world. But I don’t think he’s a bad man. I think—” she hesitates, chewing on her lower lip. “I think he might even have feelings for you.”
“I agree,” Caterina chimes in. “I think he’s falling for you, even though he’s not going to admit it. Not now, at least.”
“I don’t think Luca is the kind of man who has feelings for anyone,” I say flatly. “You said yourself, Caterina, marriages in the mafia aren’t made for love. So why would he be falling for me?”
“Maybe it’s different.” Caterina shrugs. “Wouldn’t it be nice if it was?”
“I just want what he promised me,” I insist stubbornly. “I want him to give me an apartment away from him, where we don’t have to see each other. And then I can try to forget about all of this.”
