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“I-I heard the shot and looked back a-and saw him fall. He was my twin,” I sob, “and I let him die. I let him die!”
I can’t hold back the torrent of guilt and despair, eight years of it. Axle tries to touch me, but I pull away from him, feeling too unworthy of love to allow him to be near. Disgust and self-loathing fill me. I don’t deserve Axle’s touch, his love.
He doesn’t accept that though and groans as he literally pulls me over to him.
For the second time tonight, I cry into his chest.
I cry for Josh. I cry for Axle. And I cry for myself. I cry because I can’t do anything else to change any of this.
When I’ve calmed down, I lift my head and Axle fiercely wipes my tears away, taking my face in his hands.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispers to me, and a small sob escapes my throat that I quickly swallow, “Josh sacrificed himself for you because he loved you. It’s not your fault.”
His words bring a fresh wave of tears, but he pulls my face forward, kissing away each one. I try to let his words sink in, the words I’ve needed to hear for so long but can’t quite believe. I don’t believe it, but hearing it makes my chest feel a bit lighter.
“It’s not your fault.”
I turn to say something when his mouth lands on mine and the energy around us changes. The soft pecks quickly turn ravenous and he moans hungrily. I try to pull back, but he only brings me closer.
“You’re ribs…” I start to say.
“It’s fine,” he replies as he nibbles on my earlobe, bringing delicious shivers down my spine. “Get on top of me.”
I look into his eyes and that’s all it takes. Never leaving his gaze, I straddle his lap, immediately feeling his throbbing length pressed up against me. I smile and rub myself against him, enjoying the perfect friction. His eyes watch with hunger as I pull off the shirt, the wraps underneath no more than rags.
Leaning forward I kiss him deeply, being careful not to crush his ribs. I’m certain I’m still hurting him but try to be as gentle as possible. He needs this as much as I do. Who knew despair could be so close to desire?
I stand up and step away, keeping my eyes on him as I untie the last few straps covering my chest. My nipples harden immediately. Biting my lip, I pull down my pants and stand before him bare.
“Beautiful,” he whispers, holding his arms out for me. Even bruised and battered, my heart sings for this man. I kneel between his legs, reaching to free his confined cock from his pants. My eyes light up as they land on it and I lick my lips. I never knew cock hungry was a real thing before Ax.
I lean down, flicking my eyes up to his and feeling a rush of heat between my legs at his heated gaze. Emboldened, my tongue darts out to the bead of pre-cum on the tip and he moans, encouraging me further. Bringing my mouth down I gently suck on the head, savoring his small sounds of pleasure. He’s so wide my jaw hurts but I ignore it, intent on making him feel good.
My mouth begins to work up and down, moving as far down as my throat will allow. I bring my hand up to work the base, getting into a rhythm. I can feel him throbbing under my tongue and hum in delight. The moment I do he pulls me back, whispering hoarsely, “I need you.”
Quickly wiping my mouth, I move up and gently lower myself onto his waiting member. Our moans harmonize as I carefully start to move, the pressure already building up inside me. At this angle, my clit hits against him every time I go down and I start grinding, bringing myself closer to climax.
Holding his uninjured shoulder with my other hand against the wall, I move faster as I feel us both rising. Pressing down I grind into him one more time and tighten around him, taking him with me. I don’t stop moving immediately and our orgasm seems to go on forever. When I finally stop, I look into his eyes again.
Instantly, his earlier words come into my head.
“Josh sacrificed himself for you because he loved you.”
“I love you, Axle.”
Thirty Six
Axle
For the second time tonight, I am a coward. My heart burst when Ana said she loves me, but the words caught in my throat and I couldn’t say it back. She didn’t wait or pause or hesitate, like there was no expectation for me to say it back. My eyes burn into hers, and a small part of me hopes it shines through.
When we finish, she goes to the corner to clean up a bit. As much as I didn’t want to, I gave her all the privacy I could by averting my eyes.
“I need your help,” I tell her when she comes back and she looks at me, eagerly waiting to see what she can do. A smile touches my lips as I tell her what I need, how I’m going to win this fight.
* * *
We must look quite the pair by the time we’re done. With a sharp piece of stone, Ana cut into the spot below my eye where blood was welling and obstructing my vision. A torrent of blood poured out, further covering us both, but I can see a bit better.
