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To everyone else she’s a talented whore and no more. A nun, a dancer, a waitress…she told me of some of the things she’s done to survive, and she did it with her chin held high. As she should. If selling a part of yourself, body or soul, to survive makes you a whore, they who the fuck isn’t one?
Every day I spend in the Tomb I sell a bit of my soul. I don’t want the violence and death and ugliness that is these walls, and I’ve never done anything ‘bad’ that I wasn’t forced to. There’s no denying I am not a good person, this life hasn’t allowed that, but I wish I was.
“It’s been a long time,” Emilio says, breaking me from my musings. My mind always seems to wander back to Sammi. “But I think Theo is right. And if so, this is very, very bad for us all.”
“Why would Ana work for them?” Luis asks with a frown. The kid was always a bit naive, and he adored Ana.
“She doesn’t have a choice,” I answer gruffly, and I hear a few murmurs of disagreement, but a sharp glance tampers that.
“What the hell can we do?” one of the dark-skinned men from the south-east block ask and a few side conversations pick up. I hear bits of speculation about how they could rush the guards, or just stockpile more water. The ones who want to fight seem to be the newer occupants, but there’s a fire in everyone’s eyes.
The hint of a smile touches my lips. I won’t have to push too hard when all is said and done. Now if Ax could settle the fuck down…
Thirty Four
Ana
Ithink we were both glad when a guard unknown to both of us came and dropped off our dinner without incident. I guess when I thought helping Dick would mean better food or accommodation, I was wrong, but then again, it’s the first day. Besides, my reason for doing this isn’t to improve my temporary situation. It’s to get access to a weapon and kill these motherfuckers. My nose crinkles in disgust at the stew, or whatever that is, and I once again stick to the hard knob of bread.
Luckily, Sammi doesn’t really bother me for the rest of the night. After we eat in companionable silence, she goes back to her trademark corner and curls up, falling asleep immediately. I watch her in a sort of dazed trance focusing on her chest rising and falling. It isn’t really her I’m watching, just the rhythm. I finally blink a few times, realizing how long I had been staring only in the fact its full dark.
Sighing to myself, I curl up too and try to close my eyes, but images of Ax’s distraught and broken face keep coming to the forefront. Under the cover of night, I let myself have a moment of pity and allow the tears to fall.
Tomorrow, tomorrow I can be strong.
* * *
“Get up, ladies!” a coarse voice wakes me from an uneasy sleep. My body jumps on reflex, reaching for a blade that should be under my pillow. Instead, I crack my hand against a stone wall and hiss.
“Are you okay?” Sammi whispers to me from her perch a few feet away. Her eyes keep darting to the door where the jingle of keys gives us only a moment longer of privacy. I nod curtly and stand, not rubbing my knuckle despite how it’s throbbing.
Our second least favorite asshole, Nick, walks in with a grin on his face, his eyes immediately landing to Sammi. I chance a quick glance her way and note the tension in her despite the small smile on her lips. My eyes narrow and I wonder if I can snap his neck quickly enough.
“Time to bathe,” he says with a chuckle, looking both of us up and down this time, “You’re both coming with me.”
I shrug off the heavy hand that lands on my shoulder as we are essentially pushed out of the room. Sammi’s head is lowered and I see the tightness of her body out of the corner of my eye. She didn’t mention regular showers, but I suppose that’s a new “privilege”. My body is rigid as I move forward, keeping my eyes moving until they land on Dick standing there waiting for us.
“I thought you could both use some cleaning up,” he says with a smile, as though he’s doing us a favor, “And I have something…nicer for you to wear today.” He holds up something red that doesn’t look like it has nearly enough fabric, but I can’t tell much else. He looks at me as though he’s waiting for something,
“I’ll wear my own clothes, thanks,” I finally reply through gritted teeth. “Where’s the showers?”
Dick’s smile shifts—fuck, does this guy ever not smile—and he stands, pushing off the edge of the desk. I keep myself perfectly still despite my desire to cringe when he comes up close to me. I can smell him and my nostrils flare at the smell of body odor and a hint of liquor on his breath.
“I wasn’t asking,” he says quietly once he’s right up in my face. My breath comes out heavier than I’d like, but I manage to keep still. When he stands up straight, he nods his head to the right and hands are on me, pushing me forward. I try to turn my head to see Sammi is following but immediately some big asshole steps in my way. I narrow my eyes at him but keep my head forward as we turn the corner and step into some kind of locker room.
I see Dick whisper a few words to Nick before leaving and then, it’s just Nick and one other guard. The two of them stand there for a moment, watching us expectantly and I feel my stomach churn slightly.
“We’re fine from here, thanks,” I say sarcastically, doing my best to keep my voice steady. They stand rooted to the ground, crossing their arms. “Seriously? It’s not like we’re going anywhere!”
I look to Sammi for her to say something, but she just looks to the ground.
“I didn’t say we wouldn’t leave because we thought you’d escape,” Nick says to us both with a grin, taking a step toward me.
“Come near me and I rip your fucking balls off,” I interrupt, putting my feet into a better stance in case it actually does come to that.
Nick turns to the other guard, “Watch the other one, I need some fun.” He grabs his crotch before turning back to me with a grin. My eyes narrow as I raise my hands, ready to do whatever it takes to keep his disgusting self away from me.
“I don’t usually dig short hair, but I can forgive it this once,” he says darkly. Just as he’s almost in range a body glides in front of mine.
