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I start to groan, but it quickly turns into a gag as I shift and blood fills my mouth. I lean over, coughing and sputtering until a hand grabs my hair, yanking my head back. One of my eyes is mostly swollen shut, but through the crack of the other, I see Neil looking down on me.
He looks at me critically, like one might inspect a broken object, assessing whether it's worth repairing. A grimace crosses his face and he drops my face. It bounces off the ground and my limited vision fades further.
“Look at this disgusting whore. She’s no fucking use to us anymore,” he says. “Dump her. I need some fresh pussy.”
I manage to crack an eye open enough to see his feet walking away.
“Still feels like cheating,” I mumble to myself, covering it back up and closing the door again.
Chapter Twenty-One
The Longer the Waiting, the Sweeter the Kiss
Echo
I’m not sure if it's me or Eternity itself that’s changed, but the second I walk into the club, I feel the shift. Even though the bomb is safely tucked away in my apartment, it feels dangerous being here. A crackle of anticipation hovers in the air. Is it me who brings it, or is something else happening?
Killian isn’t at the bar, but I see Dee with her back to me, speaking with James on the floor. I frown, not used to seeing her out front. It only adds to my sense of unease.
I wave in their direction as I make my way toward the back. Dee gives me a tired wave back, but James’s eyes narrow at me before turning back to Dee.
“Hey, Echo,” a few of the girls greet as I walk into the back.
Apparently, my alpha status is sticking without Savannah or Annika here. Keeping my smile plastered, I greet everyone and head straight to the back, shutting myself into one of the few private change rooms. It’s more often used for drugs or fucking, but I’ll take the moment of respite for what it is.
Pressing my back to the door, I close my eyes.
“Get your shit together, Echo,” I tell myself under my breath as I wait for my heart to slow.
I listened to my gut instincts for many years, and it didn’t serve me wrong until that one day. Even that was more sloppiness than anything. For the last decade, I’ve spent countless hours convincing myself that was all it was. Sloppiness.
I’d never trusted anyone else, so losing my trust in myself was a shaking experience. Not as shaking as being raped and tortured for days on end, but, still. It took a lot of years for me to really realize there was nothing I could have done.
So, why now, of all times, is my confidence wavering? What is curdling my stomach and making me so uneasy? Maybe that I’m so close to the goal I’ve dreamed about for so long?
Despite the hype I’ve given myself, I know I need to push that feeling aside and just get through it. I’m a fantastic actress, and that is all I need to do. Act, play the part of a good little stripper for a few more days until I can put this behind me.
I never thought there’d be someone here at the end with me, but it seems more and more like that will be the case. The thought is taking some getting used to, but it is growing on me more and more. The corner of my mouth turns up at the thought of Kill.
Taking one more breath, I step forward and place my hand on the vanity, staring at myself in the mirror.
Brown contacts stare back at me, framed by long, dark hair. A face I don’t completely recognize, but one I’ve learned to love. I adopt my resting bitch face before giving myself a wicked smile.
“You’re a badass bitch,” I tell the mirror, “And you can fucking do this. Now. Go.”
Pushing off the table, I turn and head back out into the club.
Dee is noticeably absent for the rest of the night, and even Arturo seems to be more sedate than usual. All of it seems just wrong, and I know I’m not the only one who notices. On the bright side, I look amazing. Tonight, I’m dipped in gold. Swaying patterns move up my leg and side.
The talk is minimal as the rest of us get ready. I watch Arturo put the final touches on Lana’s paint. Feathers trail up her side to give the illusion she is almost emerging from them. She gives me a wan smile, which I return.
“You’re going to look amazing,” I tell her honestly, and her smile brightens.
The first set is going to start in about twenty minutes, but I still haven’t seen Dee. The morale and behind the scenes of the girls will tell everything you need to know about how a place is run. Thinking back to my youth, and some of the better madams I’ve worked with over the years, I consider the different atmospheres and vibes.
Deeisone of the better ones, at least outwardly. She seems to actually care about the girls and their well-being. By the same token, there is a loyalty to Neil and the club that I am wary to cross. Whether Dee is here by choice or not is a question I don’t have the answer to.
Eternity is such an anomaly, and I don’t know why I didn’t look at it closer sooner.
