Page 44 of Her Last Audition


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I hide a smile at the concern. “I just didn’t know at first that he was with you. I thought…”

I trail off and the good atmosphere flees from the room. I’ve been lucky so far, but it’s still any time that the Iron Elite could give me to anyone they wanted. Todoanything they wanted.

It’s amazing that I trust the man in front of me at all, but somehow I do.

He came back for me.

“But you’re okay?” he asks, taking my hands in his, looking down at them.

I give a small nod. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

He looks up and for the first time, he really does smile, and I’m pretty sure my heart melts right then and there. After a moment, his expression falters and he puts his head in his hands.

“Fuck,” he mutters, and I frown.

“What?”

He looks up at me and tilts his head, giving me a confused look.

“How aren’t you freaking out right now?” he asks, and I startle a bit. He shakes his head and tries again. “Most bitches don’t, I mean, couldn’t make it as far as you have. They’d be freaking the fuck out right now.”

He sits back, this time studying me. “Who are you really, Kinsey Russell? We both know you shouldn’t be here. So why are you here? What’s your story?”

I look down as I consider his question when I notice that my hand has found its way into his. He squeezes lightly, and I look up at him.

“I grew up where showing emotion was a bad thing. My dad passed when I was young and my mom wouldn’t have any of it, wanted me to be the perfect little girl for her. Never allowed to be sad. I naturally got good at pretending, and even became an actress, or tried to anyway,” I tell him. “My life has always depended on being able to adapt in some form or another, being able to pretend when I need to.”

I hold up my hands, gesturing to the room around us.

“I didn’t expect this, but if there’s anywhere that adaptability has come in useful in my life, it’s here. Somehow I don’t think showing my emotion here would help me much.”

The words come out of me easily, and honestly, I hardly know where they come from. I feel tears well up in my eyes and wipe them away harshly.

“You’re a good girl,” he says frankly. “You don’t deserve this shit.”

I actually smile at that.

“I used to believe in karma, that if I did good things, good things would come back to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.” I let out a humorless laugh as a few tears manage to spill over. I feel the hand around mine tighten, but I don’t stop.

“I always knew men were pigs, grew up the same as any other pretty girl in the US with being used to catcalls and being careful about where you put your drink at the bar. God freakin’ forbid, you leave it unattended. We get taught not to walk through parking lots at night and to tell a friend where we’re going on a date. All this to keep us safe from men.”

My eyes meet his.

“Before all this, I would have looked at a man like you and crossed the street. But now, I know that there is no karma, no justice, and looks are deceiving. Since I’ve been here, the people who have been nicest to me are whores, and good-looking men in suits have done nothing but put me on display and sell me to the highest bidder. What’s the use of being a good girl? What does it matter to them? Being good only means you have farther to fall.” I’m practically spitting by the end of my little speech, and I look up and frown when I see Atlas is actuallysmiling.

It looks good on him, but considering my words, I’m not certain that's the response I want.

“Why are you smiling?” I demand, and his smile actually grows. He reaches out and pushes my hair out of my face, behind my ear.

“I didn’t know you before, but this you? This fire? It suits you,” he tells me. I pull his hand away and bring it down, looking down at the wide expanse of it before looking back into his eyes.

“And you’re right,” he continues. “To those men out there, it doesn’t fucking matter. They will chew you up and spit you right the fuck out again.

“And you?” I ask. His hand squeezes mine.

“Kinsey, I…” He trails off, exhaling deeply. “I’m not a good man, but no, I won’t fucking hurt you or make you do anything you don’t want to.”

I raise an eyebrow at that, and he has the grace to flush, making me smile.

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