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“Why not?”
Before I can reply, or tell her to shut up and stop questioning me, Jason interrupts.
“Let the girl go,” he scolds. “She needs to get out.”
I dart a glare at him before turning back to Kinsey. She’s watching me with an unreadable expression and a warning in her eyes.
“It could be dangerous,” I tell her. She opens her mouth, closing it again immediately before considering. After a moment, she speaks.
“Jay’s right, I’d like to get out for a bit.”
My jaw clenches but I give a short nod and walk out, pulling my phone out to text Phil all while telling myself I don’t care. She’ll be fine, and really, I’m probably overreacting. Even still, there is a part of me that wants to tie her up in my office and keep her there, simply so I know she’s safe.
And mine.
But she isn’t and won’t be, so, instead, I close the door to my office behind me while I wait for Phil.
36
Kinsey
World on Fire
After Atlas’reluctant agreement, I went back to the room that I’m sleeping in, because I refuse to call it my room, while I wait.
It seems like it was so long ago my life was normal. Waking up in my perfect little apartment, tea in the mornings, and sandwiches with Jay in the afternoon. Coffee shops and watching shitty sitcoms.
Now, your life has turned into sex and captivity. Or it did.
I shove the thought from my mind, but not before another emerges.
And bigger or not, is this not still a cage?
I frown at the thought, though I really do wish I could give Atlas the benefit of the doubt.
So many of his actions lead me to believe that he is the monster he looks like, but would a monster save me the way he did? Care about my comfort and happiness?
I don’t think I really believed my little seduction attempt would work last night, though I suppose I’ll keep telling it to myself. I can’t deny my attraction to him, and the comfort of his body certainly did take some of the confusion and pain away. But he wasn’t lying when he said we come from very different worlds. When all of this falls away, what will be left?
I was raised with tutu’s and piano lessons. Though I don’t know much of his story, I have a feeling neither of those played significant roles in his life. He’s a man of fire and violence.
Two worlds never meant to collide.
Now that they have, I wonder what will be left for me when I leave this place.
Will he care when I’m gone?
I deny to myself the daydreams of us actually beingsomething. Just the thought of bringing him home to my mom makes me want to laugh, but really I know that he could never be a part of my world any more than I could be a part of his.
The thought is sobering, but grounds me somehow.
Because I do at least know that life isn’t fair, and what I want has no bearing in the world.
The urge to go back for Jaime and the girls is a strong one, but without Atlas, I have no hope at all. I don’t even know exactly where the place we were kept is.
I read a steamy, prison romance once, and the main character said something about bonds bred in captivity being the strongest of all. I never understood that, but after my time with the Iron Elite, it makes infinitely more sense.
But bonds or not, there is almost nothing I can do for Jaime or the girls, but pray they find their knight like I did.
