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I think back to what Atlas said last night about how much he’s already done for me, and he’s not wrong. I don’t know how he first got involved with the Iron Elite, but from the bits I’ve gathered, he stayed with them to get me out.
And now he’s stuck with them.
Or so, he says.
There’s a knock on my door and I exhale, steeling myself as I make my way across the room. I’m surprised when it's Jay, and not Phil or Atlas, standing there.
“Gonna let me in?” he asks, and I step aside.
“Going to tell me I’m a silly girl again?” I ask somewhat bitterly. He smirks and moves to take a seat on the cot.
“Nah, you know that well enough. I did think I could help you a bit, though.”
“Oh, and how’s that, Jay?”
“Thought maybe a bit more insight may help you,” he says, sighing in contentment as he leans back on the bed.
“Into?”
“Atlas,” he replies simply. I feel myself tense slightly but try not to show it, and he chuckles.
“Sit down, girl.”
“Do you know why he didn’t want you to leave today?”
I shake my head slowly, then stop, my words are slow and measured. “He said it...wasn’t safe.”
“You don’t believe him?”
“I mean...” My hesitancy is answer enough, and Jay nods, leaning back further onto the cot.
“He isn’t wrong, you know. In his world, people would hurt you to get to him. Would hurt you, period. But maybe you know that already?” He raises an eyebrow, and I look down.
“He’s not a bad man, Kinsey. Not the worst, anyway. But even still, sometimes a man has to do things he doesn’t want to. Or can’t do things he does want to. I know that’s a hard one for you to understand, but at least with Atlas, his decisions are carefully thought out. He doesn’t do anything reckless and he’s the most loyal man you’ll ever meet, but only when he decides you are part of his circle. And Kinsey?”
I turn my head to him.
“It seems to me he’s put you on a fucking pedestal within that circle.”
My lips tighten. I’m not sure how Jay can hit so many nails on the head, but clearly he has some idea of what’s been going on between Atlas and I, whatever that means.
“He has the power of choice, same as the rest of us,” I reply.
Jay nods slowly. “And sometimes, we have to make the hard choice. Especially when people we care about are involved.”
I’m feeling more muddledfrom my talk with Jay and by the time he leaves, my brain is reeling. As much as I want to hate Atlas for the things he’s done, things he hasn’t done in other cases, I can’t quite bring myself to it.
One thing I know to be true, anyway. Some things are much easier said than done in life, and maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t judge Atlas not knowing his story.
My brain spins around the same things over and over until I stand and march over to his office. I falter slightly at the door, knocking timidly and taking a step back. After a beat, I hear, “Come in.”
I step inside the room and blink back some of the smoke that drifts out the open door from the enclosed room. Atlas has a frown on his face, his hair pulled back in a way that would make him look fierce if he didn’t look quite so tired. Bags line his eyes and he looks slightly pale, making the sheen of his scars stand out under the lights.
“What do you need?” he asks, somewhat formally.
“I—” My voice breaks a bit, my confidence faltering.
He stands to move around the desk and my breath hitches as I feel the warmth of his body approach.
