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“I spoke to Reyne, I think she was the only one left from when you…” I trail off, unable to even finish the sentence without a fresh burst of rage coursing through me. Kinsey’s face drops, though I know she expected the news.
“It would have been Liz or Terri then,” she says sadly, and I give her a small squeeze. I’ll talk to her about Reyne and Ivor later. I turn back to Riot, aware he’s eagerly awaiting the rest of my news.
“The girl I spoke to said she thought Jaime was sold. I don’t know if I can find out where, but I can try.”
Riots expression hardens. “I’ll find her.”
I give him a nod. “Let me know how I can help. And the other thing we talked about?”
Riot nods. “I’ll have it all arranged for next week.”
I wait for Riot to leave before turning back to Kinsey, lifting her face to look up at mine. A few tears stain her cheeks, and I wipe them away with my thumb.
“I’m sorry,” she says with a sniffle. “I knew I’d find out who, but, they were all such sweet girls. They didn’t deserve any of it.”
I give her a tight smile and pull her to me, kissing her forehead.
“I know,” I say into her hair, letting her cry softly in my chest.
Despite the morbid moment, I feel nothing but comfort holding her in my arms.
47
Kinsey
Killed by Death
Riot is already goneby the time I leave Atlas to make his calls. I’ve only been back here with him for three days, but it's been busy. We spent the first twenty-four hours basically holed up in the small room Phil set up for me. I’ll never forget the look on Atlas’ face, the cross of emotions between rage and sorrow, as he tended to my injuries.
“This is so fucked up,”he says, shaking his head as he traces the purple bruises along my side. I winch slightly when he touches a sore spot, but otherwise don’t move. My own hands lightly touch the bandages covering his shoulder and arm where he was burned. More scars for his body.
Despite the intimacy of the moment, I feel shy and uncertain now that we’re back. Unspoken things between us, questions of the future and what’s next all hover in the air around us.
“I never did thank you properly for saving me, you know, again,” I say lightly. “When Eli…I mean, when I was there, I held on to that. That I knew you’d come. Helped me get through.”
The corner of his mouth turns up a notch and I can see my words have affected him. His hand gently caresses my cheek.
“I’m glad you knew that,” he says softly, and I blush, even as I gently nuzzle my cheek in his hand. Sighing, he pulls me up and into his lap, careful of my bruises while he rubs my back.
I almost fall asleep in his arms, soothed by the safety within them. After a few minutes, I finally ask what I’ve been avoiding all day.
“Atlas?”
“Mmm?”
“What happens now?”
He stops his caress, and for a moment, I worry I’ve screwed up by asking, until he shifts me around so I’m facing him, his blue eyes burning into mine.
“I don’t know,” he begins. “Kinsey...I’m not a good man, you know that. I’m probably the worst possible person for you. But that doesn’t seem to matter, because I fucking want you. I want you here, in my fucking arms, every day for the rest of my goddamn life. I’m a horrible person for saying it, for putting you in that position, but I can’t fucking deny it.” He pauses, and for the first time, I see a hint of hesitation before he asks, “Do...do you want me, too? Because if you do, if you’ll fucking stay, I promise I can change shit around here. I won’t ever be a good fucking person, but for you, I’d try.”
I didn’t even haveto think about my answer.
By the time we finally left the room, he wouldn’t let me leave his side, and since then he’s been dealing with all sorts of ‘businesses’.
I want so badly to ask, but I’m willing to be patient and bide my time.
We talked a lot, but there are still questions I have. Whatever the answers are, I know I want to be with this man, anyway. And I know that he’ll do anything for me.
