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So, the question always comes back. Which side are you on?
That shit makes me anxious, and my thoughts become heavy. My brain struggles to stay on the straight path and my coping mechanism kicks in. Lists, and lists, and lists. Of everything I remember, of everything I’ve seen, I’ve heard, I’ve experienced. This time, it’s the women I met at the Bratva compound.
Juliette, Luna, Precious, Carla, Lizzie, Mia…
“Knock, knock,” Jamie Williams’ clear voice resonates in the room.
I watch her walk into my room upside down. I’m lying down on the floor with my hands supporting the back of my neck. My eyes land on her tiny frame and focus on her green almond eyes. She’s a cute, lovable, beautiful half-Filipina. She inherited the Southern Belle tiny size and green eyes from her mom. The tanned skin, deep brown hair, and the sparkles of gold that shine in her eyes are the same I have seen in the pictures of her dad. I never met him. He died before Jake and I moved to Stoneview, but her house was bursting with images of her entire family. The one she had before Volkov Senior had her dad killed and her brother kidnapped.
Just like me.
Aaron Williams.
For a long time, she didn’t know if he was dead or missing. He disappeared three years before I did. Nevertheless, she knows now. She knows that he’s a Wolf and he’s not coming back.
I wasn’t meant to come back, either.
My stomach twists with guilt, a rare feeling to cross my body. Fuck, she must be dying to ask me about him.
Was he there? Did you see him? Did you speak? Was he okay?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I can see the questions in her eyes; they’re like watching a tennis game between mine. She’s bursting at the seam with questions. This girl is the most curious person I know. It’s a sickness, and she can’t help it. That’s what got her in trouble with Jake in the first place.
My gaze stops at the gold necklace with a ‘J’ that Jake had gifted her.
China, Russia, Australia, U.S…
“I see it now.” She nods as if finally being in on a secret, her voice ringing with pride.
I raise an eyebrow.
“When you make your lists. Jake and Chris were right, you’ve got a tell! Your lips move slightly, it’s soundless, but it’s there.”
I roll my eyes before moving my body and standing back up on my feet.
“May I ask what it was?”
“Huh?” I ask as I grab the pack of cigarettes sitting on my bed.
“The list?”
“Which one?” I smile at her as I walk to the window and open it. I shouldn’t smoke inside, Hannah would kill me if she knew.
“Oh, there were multiple?” she asks low to herself.
“I thought you knew everything about those lists, Jamie,” I tease her.
She smiles but doesn’t reply, like a kid scared to say the wrong thing.
“Top ten gold-producing countries,” I answer her to ease the tension she thinks is hanging in the air.
“How do you even know that?” she chuckles.
Who fucking knows, it might have been on TV at some point.
“I brought you some clothes.” She points to a box by the door. “So you can have some stuff to wear until you feel ready to go shopping.”
