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I raise an eyebrow again and her eyes dart to the floor.
“So…how are you feeling?” Her arms start swinging slightly, desperate for a movement to commit to as she looks around the room.
“See, Jake, that would have been believable if only I fitted in Jamie’s clothes. Come out of hiding, will you?”
Jamie shakes her head rapidly. “Jake isn’t here, I—”
“Oh, hey,” Jake cuts her off as he appears in the door frame. “Weird, I was just walking past your room.”
“Yeah. Weird,” I deadpan. “Next time you want to give an excuse for Jamie to ask how I’m feeling so you can spy on me behind the door, why don’t you find a better one than clothes? I’m more than ten inches taller than her. It’s a miracle if I fit in her stuff.”
“I was just trying to help,” Jamie mutters to herself. Jake comes in and puts an arm around her waist.
“You did good, Angel,” he says before dropping a kiss on the top of her head and she melts into him.
“So,” I say as I light up my cigarette. “Any real reason you two are here?”
“You should get out of the house a little,” Jake suggests as he leaves Jamie and sits on my bed. “Why don’t you go buy new clothes? We’ll all go with you.”
I don’t really need clothes. The Murrays have a box of some of my stuff here, and I don’t need more than that. I’m not mad at them for giving away most of my shit. Apparently, their therapist advised them to do so, a fresh step into moving on. They kept the stuff they knew was dear to me. They didn’t move on whatsoever.
“I don’t need new shit,” I rasp back just before breathing out the smoke in my lungs. “And I’ve been out.”
“To buy a pack of cigarettes. Come on, Ozy. Let’s go to the movies or something.” He pauses and turns to Jamie. “Angel,” he says in a softer voice than when he talks to me. “Could you give us a minute?”
She nods and gives me an apologetic smile. That’s all she has done lately. Then she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
5
ROSE
All 4 U– dandelion hands
“Look,” my twin says as he gets off the bed and walks to me. “You don’t have to be scared, okay? We’re all gonna go with you, wherever you go. Chris and I will be there, and we won’t let anything happen to you.”
I scoff a laugh. “I’m not scared, Jake. I just don’t feel like doing anything. And why are you still here? It’s been four weeks, you should be back at college by now. Jamie’s been back and forth. Chris has been back and forth. Stop putting your life on hold for me.”
I don’t know why I’m getting worked up. I know he’s trying to help, but shit, I don’t need his help. This is all temporary.
“Are you insane? It’s a family emergency. I’ve been excused, and I’m fine following classes online.”
“For UPenn? You’re not that smart. You’re gonna fail miserably.” God, I’m a bitch.
“I’m smart enough, thank you,” he growls.
“No, you’re not. Smart would be to not treat me like a stupid girl. Smart would be to know that I’ve already figured out your little plan for our birthday tomorrow and that I’m not up for it. Smart would be remembering that you can’t plan shit behind my back becauseI, truly, am smart.”
I chuckle sarcastically as I shake my head.
“Wanting me to go shopping, what’s the fucking idea? Buying me a nice dress for a surprise birthday party where I’m gonna be surrounded by people dying to know what happened to Rose White for almost two years. Fuck, I couldn’t breathe at that fucking school. People were always on my back, always wanting to be my friend, always wanting me to notice them. I don’t want to see them!”
“You’re being a bitch. Stop it.”
“For fuck’s sake, Jake, have you forgotten what Stoneview is like? Whispers and rumors. Bitching and backstabbing. The last thing I want is a welcome back banner on my nineteenth birthday after having been missing for the eighteenth one. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to go out. I just want to be left alone.”
He lets the silence stretch out after my rant. He lets me catch my breath and drag more nicotine out of my cigarette to calm myself. I turn to the window to exhale while he comes and settles right next to me, his left arm brushing my right.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “The surprise party…It was Luke’s idea, and I just went along with it when I should have put a stop to it.”
