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I laugh so hard my head hits the window. “Jake and I talk about everything. I mean, not in detail, but it’s good to check from time to time. Make sure we don’t fuck the same girl.”
“Yeah, well, you and your twin have always been weirdos. I’m normal. One out of three, thank fuck.”
“So fucking normal,” I mock in sarcasm.
It’s nice to talk to him like everything is fine. Nate and I have been through a lot, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Because it was all one man’s fault, Mateo Bianco, our ex-foster dad, whose been put away for good now.
Half an hour later, Nate slows down as he enters Silver Falls. I recognize the street he takes, and I turn to him.
“Why are we going to Sam’s?”
“Why do you know where Sam lives?”
I roll my eyes but don’t grant him a response. I want mine before he gets his.
When he parks in front of the building instead of going into the underground garage, I raise an eyebrow.
He takes a deep breath and shifts so he’s facing me. “I’m sorry.”
“Wh—”
“For every time I’ve hurt you, physically or mentally. For not telling you what my plan was even though I knew you were smart enough to understand it. I’m sorry for all the times I wasn’t here when Mateo hurt you. I knew what he was doing all along and I sacrificed you for the bigger picture.”
It takes all of me not to flashback to the past. My hands land on my thighs and I’m grabbing them so tightly I feel my heart beating in them.
“Nate, I don’t hate you…”
“You should. You have all the reasons to. Jake does. He knows. He understands but won’t forget. And I get that. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just want to let you know that everything I did was so we could get to this point. And I will hate myself forever for some of the stuff I’ve done, but if it means that it leads to this,” he points at me then him. “Then I’d do it all again.”
I nod, feeling some tears springing in my eyes. None of them fall. I won’t be crying today, for it’s a beautiful day.
“I love you,” I tell him. I feel like I never did. Not in this lifetime. “Thank you for saving us.”
“I didn’t save you. I fixed mistakes.”
“You didn’t put us at Bianco’s in the first place. The system failed us. And when I say you saved us, I don’t mean just Jake and me. I mean all of us. You included.”
He nods, pushes his glasses up his nose, and pulls his sleeves up to his elbows.
“I’m not staying, Ozy. Stoneview and all that, it’s done for me.”
I could say so many things. I could beg him to leave his life of crime behind. Cry and tell him I’m scared for him. That I want him to be happy.
We’re not the kind of family that cries and begs. We’re ruthless sociopaths. Myself included.
“You’re going to build up illegal shit somewhere else, and I’m telling you now that it’s not a good idea. The deal you got with the FBI for giving them Bianco is not valid on future crimes.”
“No, it’s not,” he agrees. “But I’m not planning on ever getting caught.”
“You’d end up in prison, Nate. A cell right next to Bianco’s.”
My attempts to scare him only make him smirk. He’s the worst of us. So fucked in the head that he would love to end up in prison just to prove he can get out.
“Cool. I can keep on torturing him there.”
I shake my head. What’s the point? A gangster, that’s what he is. That’s all he knows.
“Sam and I are leaving tonight. I thought you’d want to say bye.” He runs a hand in his hair, undoing and redoing his bun. I can tell he doesn’t like this situation and is trying to keep a hold of his patience.
