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When I don’t answer, he explains further.
“I won’t come in. You guys can just…whatever I don’t want to know. I don’t approve of any of this shit. I just think if you say bye then you won’t look for him.”
“Right,” I chuckle coldly.
“You’ve got so much waiting for you, Ozy. That girl you’re seeing, she’s a fucking angel. You need to take care of her, and you need to cherish what you guys have.”
“I know that.” I don’t need him to tell me how to live my life. I know what’s best for me, even when I make the wrong decisions.
“Do you want to say bye to him? He can drive you back to Stoneview, or I can come to pick you up later. I can even wait here if you want.”
I take a deep breath and nod. “Don’t wait. I’ll call you.”
I enter the code and take the elevator all the way to Sam’s apartment. This whole situation is fucked up. I can’t help the pain in my chest knowing it’s going to be the second time I put myself through saying goodbye to him.
I gulp when he answers the door. Why does he have to look so irresistible? Why does he have to be exactly what I want out of him. Dark, dangerous,lethal.
There will never be a single word that can describe Sam to me. Childhood best friend, hero, savior, first love. He’s all and none of these things. Really, he just happened to have been linked to Bianco at the same time I was. Fate and criminal organizations. That’s all that connects us. He’s Nate’s best friend, not mine.
He looks at me, then throws his head back, looking at the ceiling while he thinks over what he’s going to tell me. Sam thinks a lot, his words are never wasted. When he looks back down, he gives me a pinched smile.
“He told you we’re leaving, didn’t he?”
“Let me in.”
He nods and shifts out of the way. I walk in and take in the familiar penthouse that looks nothing like him. The modern white furniture, the Scandinavian rugs, and comfortable nooks everywhere. This is Sam’s deep need for comfort, the kind he doesn’t show to anyone.
Except me. I know this place by heart. I’m special to him and I know it. We often spend precious time together, where we laugh. I make Sam fucking Thomaslaugh. And no one knows how exquisite it sounds.
We walk together to the living room and sit on the L-shaped sofa, a safe distance from each other. The silence is a little too loud and I hate when he makes me feel like this. Like I have to say something.
I cave about thirty seconds later. “So, bye, I guess.”
It makes him laugh and I smile while butterflies flare up in my stomach. It’s beautiful. He gets up and stretches his arm above his head, cracking his neck. His top rises and gives me a beautiful view of his lower abs and his marked V.
They’re covered in tattoos, his whole body is, and it makes me shiver with need. Why can’t I just feel normal around him? Why do I always feel like this young girl discovering love and pleasure for the first time? The effect he has on me is unavoidable, no matter how hard I try.
“Would you like a beer or something?”
I shake my head. “I had champagne at graduation, and I’d like to stay sober.” It’s needed around him.
“Champagne. Such a Stoneview girl now,” he throws as he walks to his open-plan kitchen and opens the fridge.
He grabs a beer, pours me a glass of water, and comes back. This time, he sits a little closer. Close enough that I feel his warmth. It’s strange because he’s so cold, so dark, that I’m always surprised when I feel his body heat.
“Congratulations,” he finally says. “For graduating.”
I nod and take a sip of water. “Thanks.”
Fuck, this is too awkward.
“Look, let’s just get it over with,” I snap. “Have a good life. See you, probably never, and don’t call me if you ever need an attorney.”
He doesn’t reply. He puts his beer down, locks his black eyes with mine…and kisses me.
I gasp in shock at the last thing I expected from him. My glass slips from my hand, dropping to the floor, the clink barely audible when the beating of my own heart deafens my ears. One hand tangles with the hair at the back of my head. One grabs my jaw to angle me and adapt to his height. And he deepens the kiss.
He kisses me like I’ve always dreamed of him kissing me. Like he loves me. Like he reciprocates the feelings he knows I’ve always had toward him.
