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“No, do you miss the spankings? Do you miss being punished?”
“I guess so.” I shrug. “I haven’t allowed myself to want it in such a long time that I barely remember how it feels. I miss the quiet though, the peace I felt when I reached that place. Especially now there’s so much going on all the time, I have so much responsibility. It would be nice to just… be for a while.”
It’s a pipe dream, something I know can never happen again, not without being sent to the hospital with another panic attack.
“Let’s try.”
22
Everett
She didn’t expect those words to come out of my mouth. And hell, I didn’t really expect them either, but the fact she even knows what a flogger is, let alone liking one being used on her, has my cock so fucking hard against the zipper of my jeans it’s painful.
I won’t be able to tie her down and punish her right this second, but it’s something she could build up to again. If that’s what she wants. I won’t force it on her, not after what Craig did, but it could help her. It would make her feel whole for the first time since that night.
The look of concern across her features is cute, the way her brows pull together and her nose crinkles slightly as if she thinks the words are the single most insane thing she’s ever heard, and hey, they may be. I may have read the story wrong, but the way she spoke about the club and BDSM was like she was talking about an old friend she hasn’t seen in years.
I bring my hand up to brush my thumb across her cheek in a reassuring gesture. She knows I won’t hurt her, if she didn’t she would have flung herself halfway across the room the moment I suggested it, but she’s curious.
“We won’t do anything you’re not ready for, dove. But you miss it.”
Wynter nods slowly, as if she’s afraid of her own answer. “I do.”
“So let’s try.” I shrug.
She sighs and tries to push off my lap again. She keeps doing that when the conversation veers in a direction that makes her uncomfortable, but I’m not having any distance between us ever again. If this is something she needs, it’s going to happen.
“Everett, I need some space,” she says quietly.
“Too bad. No more space. No more secrets. No more distance.”
“So you’re going to tell me why you left then?” She quirks her brow in the most adorable sign of defiance.
I chuckle and shake my head slowly. “Nice try. But I will tell you everything you need to know once I’m sure you’re coping with the loss of your parents. I don’t want to be the reason you shut down.” The truths I have to tell her are ugly and she’s going to hate hearing them, she’ll probably even disagree with the reason I left, but there’s no going back now. I did what I did, and we both have to learn to live with that.
Wynter rolls her eyes. “Well I guess there are still some secrets then, huh?”
“Did you just roll your eyes at me, little dove?” I growl.
The corners of her lips pull up into a devious smile as she shrugs. “Maybe.”
“See, dove.” I lean in until my lips brush against the shell of her ear and an involuntary shiver runs through her entire body. “You’re begging for a punishment,” I whisper.
“No, I’m not.”
I chuckle right before I sink my teeth into the sensitive flesh beneath her ear and relish in the little gasp of mingled pleasure and pain that tears from her throat. “Liar.” I run my tongue along the ridges of the bite mark I’ve left in her skin before moving just below it and biting into her again. “See, you know what I think, little dove? I think youlovethe idea of me bending you over and punishing you for running away today. I think your head is telling you to say no, but your body is begging you to give in because youcraveit.”
“No,” she breathes, the word barely audible to either of us over our racing hearts.
“All these lies are only going to add to your punishment, dove.”
“I can’t.” She shakes her head as she moves her icy blue eyes to meet mine.
There’s fear behind the pools I fell in love with, but it’s mingled with a myriad of other emotions. Excitement. Nervousness. Arousal. They’re all there swirling around relentlessly, overwhelming her. This is why she needs this. She needs for it all to go quiet for a while. She needs someone to take the decisions out of her hands, just for a little while so her mind can rest.
“Yes you can, dove. You know me, you trust me, whether you accept that or not. And you know I would rather die than cause any harm to you, don’t you?”
She nods slowly.
