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‘Mmmm...’
‘It was different for me. I wasn’t born into it. I just got lucky when my mother married my stepdad. I never forgot that. And they never let me.’
‘Your parents, you mean?’
‘My parents kept me grounded. Taught me the value of hard work. But the other kids at school never let me forget that I wasn’t quite like them. Children are like sharks: once they get a whiff of blood, they go on the hunt. And those guys I went to school with...’ I sigh. I hadn’t thought about any of this in a long time. It’s unsettling remembering that time in my life. Mum was happier than I’d ever seen her. But school was awful. ‘It was like they had a moral void at their core. They found humour in the oddest things and some of them were downright cruel. The truth was, I never really fit in with any of them. Like you, I was always an outsider. Still am. I had a few friends, but I was always different. And they made sure I knew it.’
‘I’m sorry, Jack. Kids can be ruthless. It doesn’t matter where you live or where you come from.’
‘What happened when you came back up north, to stay with your family?’
‘I stayed with my parents for a while, but it was awful. I felt ashamed. Like I’d failed. They had thisI told you so airabout them all the time. I worked a few jobs before I eventually got a job at the uni, not the one I have now, a different one. That allowed me to move out and get my own apartment. And then a few years later I moved to the English Department. I’ve looked for other jobs over the years but it’s not like there’s much of a selection around here in terms of art and museums.’
‘Are you close with your parents?’
‘I see them at Christmas if that’s what you mean. It wasn’t a full-blown I’m-never-going-to-see-you-again scenario or anything. But I can never forgive them for how they made me feel after uni. When I had to come back to the one place I’d been trying to escape, with my tail between my legs.’
‘That must have been very hard for you.’
‘It was more than hard—it was degrading. At the time, I felt like I didn’t have a choice.’
‘I think you’re extremely brave.’
‘Stop it.’
‘I do.’
‘No, seriously. Stop. If I had just gotten literally any other degree, I’d be further ahead than I am right now.’
‘But you wouldn’t have gotten to taste what you love. You wouldn’t be you. You are who you are because you followed your heart, you studied and worked hard. Youearned your degree.Just because you got knocked back doesn’t mean your dreams have to die, too.’
‘That’s what I’ve been struggling with. Why can’t I just let it go? A normal person would think, right, I screwed up. Got a useless degree. There are no jobs. So, I’m just going to do something else. Me on the other hand. Oh no. I take it to a whole new level of crazy. I go, I love art so much, that I’m going to torture myself by visiting properties I can’t afford, dream about turning them into art galleries and, in order to fund it, I’m going to pose naked for strangers. Because of all the jobs out there, that’s whatIchoose to do.’
‘I never knew... I never realised that was actually why you did it. Is it wrong of me to say that I’m so glad you did,’ I nuzzle her neck. She’s gorgeous when she’s all worked up. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s whisper-shouting because we’re in public. ‘We never would have met otherwise.’
She looks up at me and smiles and all I can think about is how insatiable I am when it comes to her. She’s so beautiful sitting here beside me, opening her heart up to me. Her eyes are big and honest. I’m coming to learn that Leyna has many sides to her—all of which I want to see more.
A twinge of guilt pangs at me. She’s being so open and honest with me and I haven’t been the same with her. I admire her for how she’s able to just open herself up like that, and I desperately want to open up to her too, but I just can’t. I’m not there yet.
‘I’ll be right back,’ I say to her as I get up and out of the booth. I know she’s assuming I’m making a trip to the loo, and I let her think that. Meanwhile, I walk down a hallway, peek my head into the kitchens, and then keep walking towards the offices out back.
I find Julian. Daryl is nowhere to be seen.
‘Ah, you’ve come early!’ he says.
‘I’m here for a lovely meal tonight. But tomorrow, we will talk business. Along with losing that Michelin star.’
‘Of course. I wish you’d told me you were here sooner. Enjoy yourself tonight. You will get the star treatment,’ Julian says.
I nod curtly and leave. I’m fairly certain none of the problems have anything to do with Julian.
‘You’re back,’ she looks happy to see me.
As we eat our meal, I push any thoughts about the failings of the restaurant to one side, instead choosing to savour Leyna. ‘I’ve already ordered dessert and I can’t wait to see what you think when you taste it.’ I lean in closer to her, ‘I can’t wait to hear the sounds you’re going to make...’
‘I’m not one to refuse dessert,’ she says with a twinkle in her eye.
I watch as she takes her first bite. Her eyes expand when the rich chocolate hits her tongue. ‘It’s good, isn’t it,’ I say.
