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An odd sense of urgency drove him. He needed to see her once more. The realization of how much he longed to kiss her just once touched a raw nerve. More importantly, he had to know her identity. They could not just be ships passing each other that might never meet again.
His heart suddenly jerked in his chest.
Thaddeus had not known if Perdie wanted to see him again. He must know if there was a chance, even if that chance might be months from now.
Turn around and return to the inn.
He paused, then lifted his face to the sky. The wind whipped along his face, and he could smell the rain in the air. Hesitancy writhed inside him, and Thaddeus was not the kind of man to suffer from indecisiveness. He had always known what he wanted and always planned on how to get it.
Bloody hell! Do I go forward, or do I return to the inn and ride immediately for London?
* * *
Dearest Sebastian,
I intended to stay at Rosemead cottage, but then I realized that you would surely come to find me here. I am not ready to return home. I promise to do so in time for Lady Michaels’ midnight ball in June. Forgive me the worry I have caused you and mama, but I must do this.
Your sister,
Perdie.
Perdie carefully folded the letter,exited the study, and made her way down the hallway. The housekeeper greeted her with a warm smile.
“Supper will soon be ready, my lady, and I’ve instructed Jarvis to set up the straw patches for you to practice your archery on the eastern section of the lawns.”
“Thank you,” Perdie murmured, pleasure rushing through her. She handed the letter to Mrs. Thomas. “Should my brother…the duke visit here in the coming days, please see that he receives this letter. If a week passes and he pays no visit, see that it is sent to London to our townhouse.”
Mrs. Thomas’s plump and pleasant face creased in confusion. “You’ll not be staying, my lady?”
“No,” Perdie said. “Perhaps for a few days. I will keep you appraised of my needs.”
“I see,” Mrs. Thomas replied. “I will follow your directions. I have also instructed the cook to prepare your favorite dishes.”
A lump formed in Perdie’s throat. “Thank you.”
Perdie went outside to the eastern section of the lawns, noting the overcast sky. It might rain soon. Still, she did not return inside, hating to be confined to the house just now.
For the first time since running away from London and the suffocating dream which had descended on her, she felt a measure of peace.
Perdie thought about Thaddeus’s encouragement to trust her brother to take her dreams and hopes into consideration when he decided her future. And wasn’t that the problem? She wanted to be an active participant in deciding her life. Perdie stilled upon recalling how her brother had agreed for her to marry Lord Owen. Sebastian had thought as a duke’s daughter, she could make a better match. But he had indeed spoilt and indulged her and had agreed to the engagement with Owen only because of her pleadings.
“My brother loves me,” she whispered to the air. “He surely does.”
Did he love her enough that he would allow her to break a long-standing engagement? Lord Owen could sue her for breach of promise, and Perdie suspected Sebastian would insist for the engagement to stand. Her brother was not a man given to sentiments.
A crack of thunder had her jerking, and she laughed shakily. Unexpectedly her skin prickled, and she slowly turned around. Thaddeus. He stood there, looking devilishly handsome. Perdie wasn’t prepared for the impact of the sensations upon seeing him. Her chest was warm and tight, and she could do no more than stare at him. “You came back.”
“Our farewell felt incomplete.” His brogue was thick.
She went absolutely still, her heart a pounding roar in her ears. Perdie had tried so very hard not to think of him, not to call him back when he had ridden away. She had stared after him even when he disappeared from her line of vision. The feeling to chase after him had almost felled her. Perdie had successfully fought the impulse, and now he was here.
Her heart was hammering with foolish gladness.
A splat of rain landed on her cheek, and she glanced at the sky. “It will rain soon.”
He did not reply, and when her gaze met his, she almost wept. He appraised her with more than mild interest, more than just a friend wanting to say farewell more thoroughly. There were so many questions in his gaze, ones she could not answer. Ones she hoped he would not ask.
“I cannot say goodbye as yet, Perdie,” he said, a self-deprecating smile twisting his lips as if he hated the pull he felt toward her.
