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“He what? He really asked Dad for his blessing to marry me? When?”
“When you were out here in April. He told Dad that he’d ordered a ring.”
My lungs deflated. Will had ordered a ring but never proposed. Why? Had he changed his mind after Cori entered his life? Was he planning to ask her to marry him?
Bile inched into my throat. The thought of Will marrying anyone else made me sick, but then, so did imagining him screwing her.
“Well, obviously he’s changed his mind. I need to go now, but I’ll be in touch once I’m settled. And I would love for you and Dad to come out for a visit… when it’s safe.”
“Safe? Jesus, Mir… I mean, Anna. I’m going to go crazy worrying about you.” She sniffled again, and I had to get off the phone before I started crying too. “You’remybaby.”
“Mom, I’m also a grown woman. I’ll be okay. Next time I call, let’s discuss when you might be able to visit. I mean, if you want. But try to understand, I have so much to do in setting up my new life.”
“Oh, I’ll want to come out. You can be sure of that. And I understand you have a lot to do but, sweetheart, you’ll be alone in a new town. You’ve never lived anywhere other than Arizona and California.”
“I know, but I’ll be okay. I’m not moving to another country, though I did briefly consider it.”
“What?”
“Mom, relax. I never seriously considered it.” But I would if I felt threatened by the St. James family. “Remember, you can’t tell Will where I am or about the baby, okay?” I hated putting this kind of pressure on my parents. They lived by a strict moral code as I did. I would do anything to protect my child, but asking them to lie felt wrong.
“Yes, my love. You can count on Dad and me.”
“Thank you so much. I love you both to the moon and back.” Cheesy? Maybe. But it was our thing. As I rested my hand on my stomach, it took on a whole new meaning for me.
I could imagine how my dad would react when my mom told him Will had an affair and I was pregnant. First, he’d be shocked. Then he’d be livid. And then, when Mom told him I moved to Spokane out of fear of the St. James family trying to take my baby from me, my dad would lose his mind. I knew him well enough to know he would feel betrayed. He trusted Will. Gave Will his blessing to marry me. And Will desecrated it.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to leave my hotel room to explore my new town. I curled into a ball on the bed and wept.
I gave myself permission for one last cryfest.
After eating breakfast Friday morning, I headed over to my new home, a little white cottage with black shutters and a red front door. As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed the grass was overgrown, along with the shrubbery. The landlord had said the home had been empty for a couple of months, and it was evident he hadn’t gotten over here to clean up the yard. Compared to the other houses on the street, this one was severely neglected. The pictures were nothing like seeing it in person.
Dammit. I sighed, climbing out of the car. I removed two grocery bags full of cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and bottled water. I was glad I had the foresight to stop at the store on my way over. Who knew what I’d find inside?
I shuddered at the thought. I’d seen a Target on my way here and planned to go back to buy items for the house once I unloaded my car. Linens, kitchen items, and a bed were at the top of my list, but I needed everything.
“Oh wow!” I gasped upon entering the living room. Gorgeous dark wooden floors greeted me, as well as a lovely brick fireplace, which was painted white. Above it hung a pretty silver-framed oval mirror. Right away, ideas of how to decorate the room flooded my mind.
I did a quick walk-through of the house and made a list of things to buy to make the place feel homey. Then I ran back out to the car to unload it so I could go shopping, my favorite pastime.
Several hours later, I returned to my little cottage. My car was packed to the max with all kinds of goodies. Shopping for a new home wasn’t nearly as fun as it was when Lily and I moved into our apartment together. I found myself reminiscing about that time in my life when my only worry was making LA Premier a success. Those days were a lot less complicated than I’d realized.
I missed my simple life and friends.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the beach house. The ocean view alone had made it a spectacular home. Everything inside it was pristine and high quality. I’d also miss our weekly cleaning service. Once we had kids, Will wanted to hire a full-time housekeeper who would also cook meals and tend to the children when needed.
No housekeeper in this place.
I sighed, feeling homesick as I filled the sink with warm, soapy water. I put my new dishes, flatware, and glasses to soak while I arranged some essential ingredients I’d bought in a cabinet by the stove. The kitchen was small, like everything else in this house. And it was okay; it was just me after all.
There was nothing fancy about this house, but it was comfortable. I did like the white subway tiles on the backsplash in the kitchen and the pine shaker-style cabinets. It reminded me of some of my friends’ homes when I was growing up. We were all just average, middle-income families. We didn’t have fancy anything. Nice, yes, but nothing would ever compare to the way Will grew up.
Stop comparing everything to Will. This is your life now.
Pushing Will out of my head, I washed the dishes, dried them, and put them away. I even turned on some music to drown out the quiet surrounding me before it pulled me under.
Loneliness was a bitch.
