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Lynx
“Merry Christmas, Miss Donna.” I kissed her cheek. My girls and I visited my mom every other day for the past two weeks. Each time, there was a noticeable change in her. She was fading.
Jaynee was my rock. So loving and supportive. I couldn’t do this without her or Sadie. They kept me going each and every day.
“Should I sing the Christmas songs now?” Sadie took Miss Donna’s hand. “I’m here, Grandma.”
I teared up. My peanut was fearless, just like her momma.
“Yes, sweetie,” Jaynee whispered. “Sing softly. Grandma can hear you.”
Sadie began with “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.” Her little voice made me more emotional. Even Jaynee wiped away tears. Next time this year, we’d have a new baby, and my mom wouldn’t be with us. It was freaking bittersweet.
Jaynee draped a soft red blanket over my mom and tucked it around her. We’d brought poinsettias, presents, and cookies for our little holiday gathering. We all wanted to make the day memorable because we knew it would be Miss Donna’s last.
An hour later, I cuddled Sadie on my lap. My mom was sleeping. When her eyes had closed, my eyes cut to the monitor beside the bed. Her heart continued to beat to my relief.
“Do you think Mommy will have a boy or a girl?”
I pressed my lips to peanut’s head. “I don’t know. I just want the baby to be healthy.”
A week ago, we had the pregnancy confirmed the same day I applied to adopt Sadie. Ironically, my lab results had also arrived. I’d given the envelope to Jaynee and told her she could open it, but I didn’t want to know what it said. Not true. I did want to know, but not if it was bad news. She’d tucked it into a draw in our bedroom unopened, saying it’d be there if I ever wanted to open it.
Maybe someday I would.
“Zander,” Miss Donna whispered.
I leaned forward with Sadie. “Yeah, Mom?”
She gazed at me with clarity in her eyes. “You have a beautiful family. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become.”
“Thank you, Mom.” A whimper lodged in my throat. Her words meant the world to me.
Jaynee rubbed my arm. “Tell her again about the baby.”
I took my lovely’s hand and kissed the top of it. “Mom, Jaynee, and I have exciting news. She’s pregnant.”
“Yeah, Grandma. I’m going to be a big sister.” Sadie squealed and clapped with delight.
Miss Donna’s eyes glimmered. “Oh, a baby. What a precious gift.”
The baby was a precious gift, one that would make next year, at this time, a little easier to bear.
I carried Sadie out to a spot behind the clubhouse to make snow angels. Twinkling lights were strung through the trees, giving off a warm glow. It was after eight o’clock and three degrees outside. It was freezing, but we were bundled up, and I wouldn’t keep her out too long. I just thought it’d be nice to begin a new tradition with my daughter; snow angels on Christmas.
When we left my mom earlier today, I had a feeling it might be the last time I saw her. I hadn’t wanted to go, but she’d insisted I take my family home. Miss Donna loved to make snow angels. Tonight was for her.
“Okay, you two. I’ve got my camera ready to record you.” Jaynee’s teeth chattered as she spoke. My desert queen hadn’t acclimated to the temps in the frozen north, but she would… eventually.
“Ready!” Sadie replied with zeal. Damn, I loved this kid.
“Me too, babe. I’m ready.” I set Sadie on her feet. “Okay, peanut. Remember how we practiced inside?”
“Yup.” She put her hands out to her sides.
I gave her a gentle push. She landed on her back and giggled.
