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“Fine.” I bolted past her before I fell on the floor in a puddle of tears.
“Sugar?” she called after me. “Sugar!”
I could hardly breathe as I ran up the stairs. Any second, my heart would burst and splatter on the wooden floors. Any second I’d break. Any second, the whole club would know my plight.
Don’t break Eve. Don’t show weakness.
But I am weak.
Tina’s steps echoed in my ears. “Sugar, what happened?”
I unlocked my bedroom door and rushed in. My knees buckled, a sob ripping from my chest. “I… I can’t do this.”
“Oh, honey.” Tina shut the door and took me into her arms on the floor. “What happened?”
I cried, really cried with her for the first time since Matt’s funeral. She held me tightly and rubbed soothing circles on my back.
Tina had been my closest and dearest friend for almost fourteen years. As old ladies, we’d held each other’s hands when our men were on runs and fighting turf wars. We ran the clubhouse together. Through everything, I could depend on her.
I could trust Tina, yet I’d hidden so much from her.
“Tell me what’s going on. If something’s happened, we need to tell Storm.”
I shook my head. “Nothing happened.”
“I don’t believe you. Look at you; you’re undone.”
“I can’t hold it together anymore. I’m so tired.” I sobbed into my hands. “I’m so lonely.”
“Did you see Art at Human Canvas?”
My tears increased. It felt like my soul was splitting into two halves. One half belonged to my beloved, Matt and the other desperately needed Art to mend the brokenness inside me.
“Yes.” Lying to my best friend for months had made matters worse. I needed to free myself of some of the load I’d been carrying. “But I also talked to Mickey. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and it’s too much. It’s too much, Tina. I’m breaking.”
“Shh, shh. I’ve got you. I’ll help you any way I can.” She rocked me in her arms while I let it all go. “I won’t let you break. Lean on me, I’ll help you.”
“Thank you.”
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It didn’t really matter. I only wanted to wither away and never leave my bedroom.
“Let’s get you in the bed, honey. You need rest.” Tina helped me off the ground.
I was spent after my breakdown, so tired and grief-stricken.
Tina slipped my shoes off, tucked me in, and then laid with me. She stroked the length of my hair as I continued to whimper. She hadn’t asked any questions or tried to get me talking. I appreciated her, loved her like a sister.
Despite going through an unbelievably abusive relationship and losing her daughter, Tina hadn’t let it keep her down. My soft-spoken friend was one of many strong women in the club.
“Thank you for being here with me,” I whispered.
“Anything for you, honey. You can always depend on me. I will never let you down.”
“I know.”
“Come on, honey. Get it off your chest.”
“I’m in love with Art.” A tear streaked into my hairline.
